HOW TO CHANNEL YOUR POSITIVE
POWER TO ATTRACT SUCCESS
Practical implementation: to enable you to liberate your intuition, we are going to embark on a programme of "Psychic and Spiritual Regeneration" that will help you to "Reawaken to a new life of happiness".
Physical preparation ritual
Please perform this preparation ritual prior to any sessions involving the "Magic Spiritual Formulas".
If you can, I recommend cleansing yourself by taking a shower. The act of running water all over your body will help you to eliminate negative influences that might have attached themselves to you and your aura over the past few days.
If it's not possible to shower yourself, go and rinse your hands and forearms under fresh water from the tap. Splash your face as well. Then wipe yourself dry and drink half a glass of cold water.
Once you have completed this physical purification ritual, go and sit down in a place where you can be sure that you won't be disturbed for about half an hour.
If need be, close the curtains so that you are not distracted by the light outside. You can also create an even more intimate atmosphere by lighting a couple of candles and placing the holders in front of you on either side of the table on which you will be placing these pages containing my instructions.
You can also burn a little incense, perfumed with rose or sandalwood.
Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply to relax yourself. Try to empty your mind. After about 2 minutes, do a deep inhalation followed immediately by a deep exhalation. Take about ten of these deep and regular breaths, without interruption.
SPECIAL PROGRAMME TO "LIBERATE" YOUR INTUITION
This first stage, that I call the "Psychic and Spiritual Regeneration" will make it possible to destroy, one after another, all the bricks in the "negative wall" that has imprisoned your intuition. It will free you from the past and it is vital to the success of this whole operation designed to bring you the happiness you so deserve.
Magic Spiritual Formula: FORGIVENESS
You have probably heard about the torment of Tantalus, the Lydian king who was sentenced by Zeus to suffer endlessly from hunger and thirst. He is often depicted tied to a post with an abundance of water and food just a few feet away.
In literature, people compare the torment of Tantalus with any ambition that is disappointed when it's close to being satisfied (this is where our word "tantalise" comes from)[1]. And this is rather like what's happening to you.
You have dreams of a better life, but you are disappointed that most of your dreams and desires are never fulfilled. Have you ever asked yourself why? Have you put it all down to bad luck or injustice?
One of the main reasons is that you are a bit like Tantalus: there are chains around you, attaching you to your past and preventing you from advancing towards a better future. Before you can enjoy this marvellous future that awaits you, we have got to free you from these chains that are holding you in the past.
A Cosmic "LAW" says:
"Whatever Man condemns in others, he attracts to himself". I know lots of people who have brought misfortune and illness on themselves by condemning others.
Forgiveness is therefore the surest way of breaking these ties to the past.
But this forgiveness should be granted not only to others but also to yourself!
By refusing to forget the "wounds" that have been inflicted on you, you are imprisoning yourself in the past. Forgiveness is the answer to the majority of your problems. You may object that "in view of what's been done to me, I can hardly see myself forgiving this person!" or perhaps "It's impossible for me to get in touch with this person" (who might have moved house or passed away). Rest assured, as far as the Universe is concerned, forgiveness also works if you send it sincerely in thought form.
If you are carrying a heavy burden of disapproval, guilt or resentment, you can free yourself from it by forgiving. From now on, refuse to live in the past. If someone has really wronged you, the Universe will take it upon itself to make them pay for it. So it's pointless to be punishing this person with your resentful attitude, because you are punishing yourself as well, by preventing yourself from advancing towards a better future.
Similarly, stop criticising yourself for the errors you have committed. These bitter feelings towards others or towards yourself eat you up inside, and can also be at the root of serious illnesses like cancer.
You have every reason, therefore, to forgive others and to forgive yourself.
Here's how to proceed, using the power of words: repeat one of these phrases every time you think about it:
"I forgive, and I am freeing myself from the past"
"I forgive myself, and I am freeing myself from the past"
"As I forgive, I am unlocking the door to the joy and happiness
that are due to me, and tasting more and more happy experiences".
I also recommend that you shut yourself away, relax, and visualise scenes in which you meet those people who have wronged you, and forgive them. And if you want to, or feel you can, why not contact the person (people) you are forgiving by letter or telephone, or arrange to meet up.
You will experience an amazing sense of inner freedom, and this will prove that you are well on the way to liberating yourself from the past.
Remember: when you forgive, or forgive yourself, the one who benefits most is you. Listen to your intuition, and it will teach you the proper way to forgive.
Your intuition is the means your Inner Guide uses to communicate with you. And it knows better than you what is right for you, and for your future.
Just by granting a sincere pardon, you will already regain some of your intuition. Always begin by forgiving in your mind - this is the simplest way, and you will see for yourself how well it works.
However you must avoid "re-building" the brick wall that has imprisoned your intuition for so long and barred you from happiness. It would be a real shame to create new "chains" which might hinder your progress towards a better life. To get there, you should also apply the 5 "Magic Spiritual Formulas" I'm going to give you below:
Magic Spiritual Formula: TOLERANCE
"It takes all sorts to make a world". You are bound to agree on this point. In spite of appearances, "criminals" are not all bad. And don't forget either that defenders of the law and morality are not all good. Learn to respect other people's opinions, even if they clash with your own. You may be different from someone else, but you are not necessarily any better or worse. Everyone is a unique individual.
Learn to respect others, as you'd like them to respect you. Try, from now on, to be more indulgent towards others.
Generally respect others for all they represent as citizens of the World.
Here are some formulas to repeat, to train yourself to be more tolerant:
I am an open and tolerant human being.
I am developing more and more respect for other people's points of view.
Everyone has the right to choose, and I happily respect that right.
I no longer expect others to rigorously share my point of view.
I am becoming less and less inclined to criticise others on the slightest pretext.
On the contrary, I am becoming more and more tolerant
over their mistakes and failures.
Magic Spiritual Formula: CIRCUMSPECTION
Circumspection is the prudence, reticence, discernment you should show in your judgements about other people.
An old Indian adage says that you cannot judge the worth or the acts of a man until you have walked in his moccasins for at least 10 days. This proverb is very pertinent: it's often difficult to understand why someone says or does a certain thing, or why they have become what they are.
If you feel tempted to make a rather hasty judgement about someone, then you should obey this other saying: "count to ten before you speak". And during this time, ask yourself how you would have reacted if you had been in that person's place, if you had been through what they have been through.
It's not a matter of excusing everybody's attitudes or mistakes, but of making a sincere effort to understand them better and, if possible, to help them to progress by passing on some of the secrets I'm revealing to you, if you feel it would be useful.
Magic Spiritual Formula: COMPASSION
What is compassion? It's a state of mind that enables us to sympathise with the suffering of others (human beings and animals too). Or it's a feeling that makes us sensitive to other people's pain. And above all, compassion implies helping others to bear their sufferings more easily.
Instead of just feeling sorry for any loved-ones who have problems, try to reassure them with your presence, your human warmth, your thoughts and words of hope and joy. Then in times of trouble, they should immediately feel comforted, and really appreciate your presence.
On the other hand, don't think that you are behaving insensitively if you refuse to share the gloom of melancholy people.
Far from it - if you refuse to dwell on the negative side of life, and make a habit of being optimistic, you will unlock the door to a happier future for others and for yourself too.
This is simply because you are applying one of the great laws of the Universe: the one that says: all the good you wish on others, you also wish on yourself!
And this is why compassion
is a great "Magic Spiritual Formula".
Of course for this law to work, you have to be totally sincere.
(Do you also see the importance of Forgiveness here? If, in the past, you have wished harm on someone who has harmed you, it's rather as though you had wished harm on yourself, which is a disaster. (You are trapping yourself in a vicious circle).
Is your greatest wish to free yourself from your sufferings, from your problems, and to live happily? Of course it is!
And it's the same for all other human beings. Just like you, they want to be happy. You have good reasons therefore to show compassion every time you get the chance to.
When you are walking down the street and meet a stranger who is suffering (someone who is injured, handicapped, poverty-stricken) share his or her pain deep inside yourself. In your mind, wish passionately that this person will get better, be lucky, find happiness and love. Do this with all the sincerity you are capable of, remembering that you are also wishing this happiness on yourself.
Here is scientific proof that what I'm telling you is true: a psychologist showed a group of students a film about the work of Mother Theresa in India. Faced with the suffering of these wretched people, the students felt real compassion. But the astonishing thing was that an analysis of their saliva, after the screening, showed that they had secreted an antibody that helps to combat lung disease.
Other studies have been carried out by other universities. It has been observed that volunteers who regularly work with others in a warm and compassionate way, gain a great deal from it themselves: their morale is better, they are enthusiastic, more aware of their own worth, have more general vitality and, it seems, a distinctly greater life expectancy.
And these are only the quantifiable physical benefits. Make a habit of showing sincere compassion in your life, and you will soon see what benefits it will bring you: peace of mind, joy, satisfaction, etc …
If you are compassionate towards others, you will help to make the world a better place, and become much more closely connected with your natural intuition. You are going to learn to sense more and more things with your heart and at the same time you will find it much easier to "feel" inside what is right or wrong for you.
Exercise No.1:
Try to remember a scene in which someone was feeling great sorrow. Try to feel in your own heart what this person was experiencing. Let all your emotions come pouring out from deep inside you. Let yourself go for two or three minutes. When you can really empathise with this person's pain in your thoughts and feelings, imagine what you would want people to say to comfort you, if you really were in this person's shoes.
Now imagine approaching this person and trying, through your actions and words, to relieve his/her suffering. Slip your arm around his/her shoulder, say something positive, something hopeful. Do this meditation exercise two or three times a week.
Exercise No. 2:
Every time you see anyone suffering (someone who is handicapped, or shunned by the world for example) silently project thoughts of love and compassion towards these wretched people. Wish that their circumstances will improve, from the very bottom of your heart.
Don't forget that the test of true compassion is the depth of emotion you feel. So if you feel the urge to, don't hesitate to offer people a few words of comfort, or at least a sincere smile and friendly "hello".
It doesn't really matter how you display it, it's the sincerity of your intentions that counts most. Give it a try and you will soon discover that the more you "give to others", the more you will receive yourself!
Formulas to repeat to train yourself to be compassionate:
It's easy for me to feel compassion for others.
Whatever compassion I feel is felt for me by the Universe.
The compassion in me is freeing me from the past,
connecting me with my intuition, and bringing me health, joy and happiness.
This is a secret that few people know:
True compassion results in intuition of the strongest and most effective kind.
Magic Spiritual Formula: GRATITUDE
Imagine this scene: you give the same present to several children, and only one of them thanks you warmly and really shows you how much pleasure you have brought. The others look rather unimpressed by what you have given them.
Who will you feel like giving a present to next time?
To the child who has thanked you warmly of course...
Would you feel inclined to keep giving to the others? Probably not!
What you must learn, is that life (the Infinite Intelligence of the Universe which is also found in you) behaves in exactly the same way with you!
What does this mean exactly?
It means, quite simply, that if you want life to give you more, you must show that you appreciate what it has already given you. Have you thanked it yet for all the riches you possess?
"What riches?" you might be tempted to ask. So let's think:
Do you suffer from a serious physical handicap?
Well good health is the greatest asset you can have!
Do you suffer from a mental handicap? No!
So you have the capacity to use the secrets I'm revealing to transform your life. And that's a second wonderful asset!
You have the ability to choose, the ability to think, the ability to regain the infinite power of your intuition so that it can guide you towards happiness.
Just spare a thought for all those who, unlike you, are not fortunate enough to be "sound in body and mind", and thank life for the wonderful gifts it has given you.
Is there a war going on in your country? So here again you are really lucky compared with lots of other humans who are suffering in various parts of the world.
Just like you no longer feel like giving to a child who does not say thank you or "turns up his nose", life is not very fond of ungrateful people who are always complaining, those who are glum, jealous, discontented, envious.
Life does not feel inclined to give them anything more. It has no desire to reward those who claim to have no luck, when they don't even appreciate the fact that they are in good health and have a standard of living that lots of truly poor nations in the world would love to have.
Do you want life to give you more?
Well stop ruining your chances by constantly complaining
about all the things you don't have compared with others!
Begin by literally counting all your blessings, and giving thanks for what you have already received. Then you may be amazed to find that new riches (spiritual, intellectual, physical, emotional, material) flow into your life with increasing ease.
How? Partly thanks to your intuition, which will guide you more and more towards what is right for you, towards ever more numerous strokes of luck.
From today on, thank your intuition ("Divine Inner Intelligence") too for every step forward, every improvement, every opportunity it "guides" you towards… Every sign it gives you is important, and even if it's only vague, it's a good start. It's as though life were testing your reactions to see whether you deserve to be given more.
And believe me, it will give you more if you take account of this "Law":
Every "thank you" you say, whenever the slightest opportunity arises, will have a "snowball effect".
Your positive thoughts of gratitude towards life will emit "positive vibrations" which harmonise with the "wavelength" of good fortune, of abundance in all things.
I know lots of people who have become rich (after starting out with nothing because they were born very poor) who continue to thank life every day for what it has given them, and is giving them. They have all told me that if they do this, life gives them more and more.
Formulas to repeat to condition you to receive more from life:
I thank life for everything it has given me.
I thank life for all the blessings
it has already bestowed on me,
and is preparing to bestow on me.
Magic Spiritual Formula: THE LAW OF GIVING
One of the principal "Laws of the Universe" is that the more you give (in a loving, joyful and disinterested manner), the more you receive. This universal rule makes it possible to generate Wealth and material prosperity.
Giving prepares you to receive. Whatever you give is reciprocated "with interest". Giving makes you the "Master" of money rather than its slave. When you give, money becomes your servant...
The Law of Giving demands a few little personal sacrifices but in fact, these represent "investments" because they place you in harmony with the incalculable abundance of the Infinite Intelligence of the Universe.
Giving what you hope to receive allows the riches of the Universe to flow freely through your own life.
If you refuse to give (for whatever reason) you "block" the flow of abundance in your life. If only you knew how sad it makes me when I see people being "tight-fisted"...
Quite recently, a survey was conducted for the Red Cross, by volunteers at the entrance to a supermarket. People who could visibly afford to donate at least a few coins, turned their heads away and pretended not to see. Their stony faces reflected only too well their selfish thoughts and attitude.
What a pity they didn't know how to apply the secrets I'm revealing to you, because then they would have known that by giving to this charity, they would have been bringing themselves good fortune and Prosperity into the bargain!...
This is why I'm so sad when I see people not giving, because I know that contrary to what THEY BELIEVE, this desire to hang on to and accumulate money is "blocking" the stream of riches that could flow into their lives...
This "Law of the Universe", that you could call the Law of Giving and Receiving, may strike you as strange, but you will have lots of opportunity to check it out (and don't tell me that you have nothing to give, because there are many ways of "giving", and some of them don't cost a penny).
You'll see what I mean in a moment...
You can give to good causes, or to the poverty-stricken people you see in the street. Life isn't always easy in our era, and there's no shortage of opportunities to be generous towards those who are less well off than oneself...
And the more you give, the more you will receive.
But be careful, because you should not give in a "calculating" way, to see if you get something in return. Similarly, if you have a sense of "losing something", your offering won't qualify as a true gift, and this LAW won't work in your favour for very long.
You must feel gladness in your heart when you give, and knowing you, I'm sure that you WILL be able to sincerely feel this joy of GIVING deep inside.
YOU CAN ALSO GIVE THINGS
THAT DON'T COST A PENNY!
For example, you can "donate" your time to humanitarian causes.
When you see people looking sad, "give" them your brightest smile. And in eight cases out of ten, you will get a big smile in return. In exchange for the joy you are giving, you will receive joy. You will feel good because you have brightened the day of some unknown person, and so your own day will be brightened too...
"Give" sincere compliments to the people around you (even if nobody gives any to you) and you will be invaded by a sense of happiness. Giving affection, or respect, won't cost you any money. And you will find that giving others pleasure makes you happy too. Be compassionate and give generous thoughts, wish people joy and happiness. These private, silent Gifts will have very powerful effects in your life.
So, if you are short of funds, you can still give a sincere compliment, a copy of a lovely poem you've found, a drawing you've done, a flower picked on the road-side. Then your gifts won't cost you any money, but you will still feel that you have "the means" to give.
Remember, "it's the thought that counts".
And as you inevitably receive in return, you will gain more and more faith in the amazing Power of this LAW of GIVING.
I am not going to recommend that you
implement the above Spiritual Regeneration
Programme in any particular order.
The order in which it's implemented is entirely up to you. You alone should decide which formula is best suited to the needs of the moment, depending on the emotions you feel when you read a particular LAW.
But try to apply at least one new one each day, until they are all an integral part of your new way of life.
YOUR INTUITION CAN HELP YOU
TO CHANGE YOUR WHOLE LIFE
As I wrote in my last letter, you have lots of intuition that you received as a "divine gift" the day you were born.
If you had taken notice of this intuition while you were young, it could have transformed your life. If it had been properly developed, it could have become an "infallible" Guide for you. A Guide that would have helped you to seize with both hands the many chances that crossed your path.
Because I in fact know that lots of lucky opportunities have already come your way.
Your intuition tried to alert you, but you didn't hear it for the reasons you know.
Regrets are pointless...
The main thing is for us to now revive your dormant intuition.
But what, in general, is meant by intuition?
Intuition is an instinctive means of perception. It enables you to instantaneously grasp an entire situation, so that you can understand what it's truly all about.
Your intuition gives you clear insight, enabling you to distinguish between true and false. Your intuition "sees" what lies below the surface, and this explains why you sometimes take a spontaneous like or dislike to someone. A "little voice" may warn you not to trust a particular person...
Your intuition is something deep down inside you that speaks to you and is only too glad to guide you in the interests of your success. Something that alerts you, steers you, warns you of a danger for example.
Intuition is an expanded vision of a situation. A vision that is sometimes so clear that it amounts to clairvoyance.
You should NEVER argue with a clear flash of intuition -
on the contrary, you should do you utmost to obey it immediately.
How can your restored intuition
bring you luck in all areas?
Once we have revived it, once you are "re-connected" to it, you will realise that all day long, you are receiving lots of information destined to improve your existence.
You will just need to recognise this information, these "signs" (we will come back to this later in more detail), so that you can take full advantage.
You will soon realise that these signs are not reaching you by chance, because there's no such thing as chance. Once you have learnt to recognise and "read" these signs, you will find that you just need to follow them to find the solution to your problems.
Then your intuition will become what it should always have been for you: a reliable Guide. Even if everything has seemed totally blocked until now, your intuition will guide you towards the solution that suits you best.
How to regain your intuition, or
how to get help from your "Inner Guide".
No doubt you have already heard it said that in general, Man (the human being) only uses one tenth of the capacity of his brain. Or it would be more accurate to say, only uses one tenth of the capacity of his Mind.
You for example, mainly use your mind for those normal everyday activities like thinking, reflecting, organising yourself, managing your affairs, etc....
But deep inside you, there is your Profound Mind, your "Superconscious", which has Unlimited Power - a power that enables you to accomplish amazing feats. And yet this Superconscious Mind, this Inner Guide that we call intuition, you hardly use at all.
"But what exactly is this Superconscious Mind?", you may ask.
It's simply the Infinite Intelligence that has made you what you are.
It's that Intelligence which created your body from two tiny cells, which multiplied again and again to form first the baby you were at birth, and then eventually, after more cell multiplication, the adult you have become today.
If you stand in front of a mirror, what do you see?
Only a human frame made of flesh and bone. And this is what others see initially. This image gives you a certain impression of yourself which is based on external factors. This is called the ego.
However your physical self is a bit like the tip of an iceberg. You have long known that the most significant part of the iceberg (nine times more than what you see) lies hidden under the water.
It's much the same with the Mind. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you don't see this Infinite Intelligence that has created you and in fact always been inside you. (Among other things, it helps your body to function without you even having to think about it).
This Intelligence (the most significant part of you) is the superior element of the human being. It is also a part of what people call the "Vital Forces of the Universe", "Infinite Intelligence of the Universe", "Cosmic Forces", "Astral World", "Creative Spirit". It's this creative power that is attributed to the Godhead in all religions.
Calling on this Infinite Intelligence that resides in YOU (and not only in the "Heavens" as religions teach), means calling on the "Creative Spirit", the "Powers of the Mind", your "Inner Guide", your "Invisible Friend and Protector".
You can give it another name if you prefer. The one that you find most appropriate will be the most effective...
Just to make things simple, I will mostly refer to it as your "Inner Guide".
This "Inner Guide" may manifest itself on its own initiative (to save your life when you are in danger for example). But you can also call on it to seek help. You need to realise that your "Inner Guide" is always there, ready to come to your aid.
The simplest and most effective way is to see this "Inner Guide" as an "Invisible Intelligence" - one that is found inside you, in your body (just as it's found in every human being, of every race).
All human beings come from the same "SOURCE" (i.e. this Infinite Intelligence that created them). When the day comes that every human being understands that we all originate from this same Infinite Intelligence, then the world will be a better place...
It will at last be possible to foresee an end to the evils that are poisoning humanity, like racism and religious conflicts for example...
Soon you will have verified the things I'm teaching you now.
When you have established that your "Inner Guide" can indeed solve all your problems, and when you have put all your problems behind you, you will have a role to play in spreading this knowledge yourself.
Your "Inner Guide" is UNITED with you,
and it is also UNITED with the Infinite Intelligence...
So YOU are "UNITED" with the Infinite Intelligence...
You must really believe that the Infinite Intelligence of the Universe lives in you, as though you were an extension of this Intelligence.
Forgive me for going on, but this concept is really important.
Thanks to this Infinite Intelligence of your "Inner Guide", you are therefore linked to the Infinite Intelligence of the Universe. This means that you can link yourself to everything you want to see materialising in your life, as the Universe holds infinite riches.
It might help you to grasp this notion more easily,
if you just imagine that you are "linked" by an invisible
cord to the things you want to appear in your life.
It is most important for you to recognise the "Divine Power" of your "Inner Guide". The reason I'm labouring this point so much, is that it's a vital key to your success. It's the understanding of this principle that will enable you to get rid of your problems and make progress in life "as if by magic".
In effect, when you connect in your mind with your "Inner Guide", you are "uniting" with it so that it can inspire you and protect you.
It will guide you by sending you external or internal signs.
And THIS is what's called having intuition.
As I wrote to you, your problems are largely due to the fact that your intuition hasn't been developed as it could have been. By not listening to your "Inner Guide", you have "lost contact" with it.
So all you need to do is to re-establish contact with your "Inner Guide" to restore order in your life and in your affairs. It will reply to you by sending signs (intuitions) to help you and steer you in the right direction.
You simply need to "get in touch" with it, to ask it your question, and then leave it to express itself in you, through you, so that it brings you the "miraculous" answers, the solutions you are expecting.
This is the best way forward when you are faced with a problem to solve, a difficult situation to overcome.
Shut yourself away in a place where you can't be disturbed for at least 30 minutes. Take the phone off the hook, and spend a few minutes just breathing calmly. Direct your thoughts towards your "Inner Guide" (or use whatever name you have decided on, if you prefer to call it something else).
Focus on the idea that as your "Inner Guide" is connected to the Infinite Intelligence of the Universe, it always knows the answer to any question, the perfect solution to any problem. Your "Inner Guide" knows no bounds. It can therefore seek the answers to your problems throughout the Universe.
It can make a direct and immediate appeal to the "cosmic memory" to help you to solve all your difficulties.
This is what explains its tremendous Power.
This is why it can help you so much!
Have complete faith in it, and talk to it as you would talk to a friend.
Remember that every ordeal in life is there to be overcome, to teach you something, and to help you to progress.
If you make no attempt to try and understand why you are encountering a particular problem, you are likely to keep meeting with that problem. So ask your Inner Guide some questions about your problem:
What can I learn from this experience?
What message is the Universe sending me?
What must I do to stop running into these difficulties?
What quality do I need to develop?
If you ask yourself this type of question, you will convert the negative energy of the problem into positive energy. It will be transferred to your "Inner Guide" and channelled into searching for an answer and opportunities that will solve your problem.
Have complete faith in your all-knowing Inner Guide which will bring you the solution. Above all, don't erect any barriers in the form or doubts or anxieties.
At every opportunity, repeat phrases like these to yourself:
"I have intuition".
"My intuition is the voice of my Inner Guide".
" My Inner Guide is steering me towards the ideal solution and I am following it".
Believe me, I know from experience that there's no such thing as a hopeless situation!
On the contrary, it's often when the situation seems to be totally desperate that your Inner Guide (if you trust it completely) gives you the most spectacular demonstration of its tremendous Power.
So much so, that the solution may seem to be a "miracle".
So remember: your Inner Guide may take the initiative and help you through the voice of your intuition. But you can also actively ask it for help, and it will respond, again through the voice of your intuition.
Strokes of luck can be provoked…
Because the "Law of Series" exists and this has even been scientifically proved. There is in the Universe a force that draws "likes" together. Unfortunately, this law is often the downfall of "common mortals" because it is only implemented in a negative way.
If two bad things happen to you one after another, you inevitably say "bad luck always comes in threes". But in saying that, you yourself provoke the arrival of a third problem. An obscure law in fact dictates that you end up attracting the very thing you fear, by thinking about it.
This is precisely what most people do, because it's so much easier for the vast majority of humans to fear than to have faith...
What is faith? It's making a voluntary decision to believe in something.
Faith therefore demands an effort of will. Provoking strokes of luck is easily within your reach, as long as you make a deliberate decision to change your attitude to "chance".
From now on you know: there is no such thing as pure chance!
People use the word "chance" to explain things that their logical mind cannot comprehend. Although pure chance may not exist, the "Laws of the Universe" do.
These are the "LAWS" that govern the world and control the evolution of the Universe. If you are unaware of these laws, then luck and success seem to escape you and you run into incomprehensible problems that put you in a rage!
But it's no good raging against these problems. It's much better to ally yourself with these "Laws of the Universe" and work in harmony with them.
As you now know that there's no such thing as pure chance, you will henceforth be able to swing the turn of events in the right direction.
I.e. the direction that leads to success, happiness and prosperity.
I know that you are an honest, intelligent and courageous person. And that's why I'm willing to tell you secrets that have proved their power over the centuries. Secrets that will enable you to change the world around you. All I ask is that you put these Secrets to the test.
From now on, you will be able to extricate yourself from the most difficult situations. You will tend to find yourself, by some "stroke of luck", in the favourable circumstances you hoped for or needed.
All you have to do is to seek the help of your "Inner Guide". Ask it to show you the way by repeating phrases like the following several times a day (every time you think of it):
"I am at one with the Spirit in me".
"My Inner Guide is always with me,
I feel its power surrounding me and protecting me".
"My Inner Guide can help me in all things,
And enable me to swiftly make the right decisions".
Whatever external circumstances you are in, never doubt your Inner Guide. During your period of "transformation" it could be that you will still have to face some "nasty surprises". These apparent injustices are necessary to "unlock the door" to better days.
Certain things will have to come to an end so that other, better ones can begin. Remember that the road to prosperity is never completely blocked. There is always an unsuspected way through, although it may not be visible yet.
It's possible that this road will seem to lead you in the opposite direction to where you want to go. But have faith in your Inner Guide: it knows what is right for you. If you feel you have reached an "impasse", repeat these phrases:
"When one door closes, another door opens".
"When one stream dries up, another more
abundant stream always emerges".
To gain more and more from life,
begin by establishing your essential needs.
If all you want to do is to amass possessions so that you can dazzle those around you and satisfy your vanity (your ego) you won't get very far.
There's no need to impress others. There's no merit in this kind of attitude, and your "Inner Guide" won't help you in this kind of way.
Be honest with yourself, and with your "Inner Guide", and begin by making a clear and reasonable assessment of your true needs.
Needs like: a better place to live, a better job, a reasonable sum of money to pay off some debts are good ideas for a start.
Write down precisely what you require. Wherever possible, choose an aim, an objective that is not only beneficial to you, but beneficial to someone else at the same time (to bring the law of giving-receiving into play).
The Plentiful Universe can meet all the requests you put to it, using your "Inner Guide" as an intermediary.
Let's imagine that you are in need of a particular sum of money...
Note the amount clearly on a little sheet of paper. Stare at this sheet for a few moments. Close your eyes (or you can leave them open if you prefer) continuing to see the amount you are asking for.
Feeling totally relaxed, repeat the following phrase in your head:
"Infinite Intelligence, show me the way to Prosperity. Guide me towards the sum of £… to which I have a divine right. Let this money be beneficial to me and to all those who profit by it and take a share of it."
When you have received this sum by some unexpected means, you will have proof that you are a channel through which Prosperity flows. To increase the flow of Prosperity, use the law of "giving and receiving". Give away a portion of this money that you have unexpectedly acquired.
As you give, say this phrase:
"May this money constantly grow, both for the
person I'm giving it to, and for me.
Infinite Intelligence, I thank you for your help".
Do the same thing for every request. Say:
"Infinite Intelligence, I need...(state what you require).
I want to have it now. Please grant it to me,
by your grace and perfect means".
If the reply is slow in coming, trustingly repeat your request, and add:
"Give me clear and precise insights. Show me what I must do to receive....... ".
Then wait from some clear indications.
PLEASE NOTE:
From now on, keep a watch on your thoughts.
You now understand that the Infinite Intelligence of the Universe constantly brings to life everything you think, imagine, feel.
Everything begins in your own mind.
Your life today is the result of your past thoughts.
Your future existence will be the result of what you will be thinking, of what you will be seeing in your mind from now on.
Remember that all your unconscious fears pull towards you the very things you dread. It is therefore really important to make an effort to "police" your negative thoughts. As soon as a negative thought enters your head, say:
"I deny this negative thought, it has no place in the Universe".
Instantly replace it with a positive thought, or with a firm belief that your request is being fulfilled.
Have faith and confidence in your "Inner Guide", the Infinite Intelligence that resides in you. Keep telling it that you believe in its power to guide you.
Here's a simple and enjoyable way of accelerating the realisation of your wishes.
You only need to set aside 10 minutes a day. Choose a place where you will be undisturbed for at least 10 minutes. Determine exactly what it is you want (the situation you would like to be in, once your problem has been solved).
Above all, you mustn't be tense - quite the opposite in fact, so relax your body and your mind. The ideal time for this exercise would be before you go to sleep at night, when your body is nice and calm.
Think, for a little while, of your desired situation. PICTURE THE SCENE! Really feel, deep down inside, that your Inner Divine Spirit has the power to solve your problem in an ideal way.
Don't make the mistake of imagining how the problem might be solved by a particular means or with the help of a particular person. If you do this, you will be in danger of blocking the process.
To fulfil your desire, the Infinite Intelligence may use means that are beyond the imagination of the human mind. It knows the perfect timing, exactly when and how to give you want you want.
Just content yourself with waiting for the result, feeling confident and certain that your Inner Guide will bring you satisfaction.
So what should you do after asking your Inner Guide for help?
Absolutely nothing! Just wait for the answer(s) to come!
Then as soon as you have them, blindly follow all the indications, Intuitions, signs, that the Infinite Intelligence won't fail to give you.
How do you recognise these answers?
They can arrive in a variety ways:
bizarre coincidences, comments around you that suddenly make you think of something, dreams, a sudden desire to do something unusual, looking for one thing and finding another that relates to your question, etc...
Keep your mind open, and on the alert - "something" will point to the right solution. Here are a few more details on how things may happen:
"Sleep brings counsel": have you heard this saying?
Now's your chance to see whether there's any truth in it. First of all, get ready to receive the replies from your "Inner Guide" - put a notepad and pencil on your bedside table. Before you go to sleep, ask your Guide to free you from everything that has prevented you from solving your problem, and to solve your problem for you.
Get into the habit of listening, the moment you wake up, to the "little voice" that speaks to you. You will be surprised to find that the answers to your questions come more and more frequently and more and more easily as you awake (or even in the middle of the night in your dreams). Note down immediately any answers or dreams relating to your problem, even if they seem rather bizarre.
Your intuition can make you a fortune
You should know that writers, musicians, poets, inventors have become rich and famous in this way. They have got into the habit of trusting that "little voice" speaking inside them. They tend to call these strokes of intuition "inspiration"... but it's exactly the same thing!
You too are capable of inventing things, of having ideas. Remember that if you find the solution to a problem that affects lots of people, these people would no doubt be willing to pay you for that solution. It's up to you to find a way of selling it to them...
Fortunes are often built on very simple and basic ideas, like cooking recipes for example....
How does intuition manifest itself?
It may be a recurrent idea or image that keeps popping into your head. It may be a phrase read or heard "by chance" (but there's no such thing as chance, so this is the answer you were waiting for). Or it could be that someone you know, or even a stranger, gives you the answer without knowing it.
Imagine that you have a choice to make and that you ask your "Inner Guide" for some help, to find out which is the "right choice for you". When you wake up, you seem to smell an aroma that brings back a pleasant memory. This memory points you towards one choice rather than another... this is a good indicator, a sign, a form of intuition.
Or it could be that just when you are considering one of the choices, you pass someone who has been horrible to you. This is a significant "coincidence", a sign that you are certainly making the wrong choice...
If you are still unsure, ask for further, clearer indications.
You may have a sudden desire to nip into a shop, even though you've no real reason for going in. (Even if your reason is telling you that there's no point, obey your initial instinct). By "accident", you bump into someone for whom you can do a favour, and shortly afterwards, this person introduces you to someone who helps you to solve your problem...
In order to help you, your "Inner Guide" will play a game with you a bit like "hunt the thimble".
"Hunt the thimble" is that game you no doubt played as a child, where you hide an object that someone else has to find. The only clues you give them are comments like "you're cold" … "getting warmer" … "red hot" etc., until the person finds the object in question.
It's a bit the same with intuition.
Here are some examples of the ways in which your
Inner Guide might tell you "You're cold":
- Nothing runs smoothly. Everything is a huge effort.
- Everything seems blocked. Meetings are delayed.
- You are nervous. You feel frustrated.
- Certain parts of your body are tense and aching.
The adjectives that best describe your state are ones like: oppressed, anxious, agitated, distracted, negative, suspicious, aggressive, stubborn, confused, disorientated, demotivated, indifferent, sullen.
You feel that events are overtaking you, you are afraid to do what you need to do. You try your best to grimly "hang on".
You have doubts about yourself, your abilities, your individual worth. Everything irritates you and stresses you. You feel a heaviness in your chest, as though a hand were squeezing you around the solar plexus. Your throat is tight, you feel like crying, you have a stomach-ache or back-ache.
Take notice of all the signals your body is sending you.
It's your intuition's way of attracting your attention. To do this it uses your nervous system, creating tension, stress, head-aches, neck-aches, etc.
Your five senses send you certain negative signals i.e. unpleasant sensations. Things seem to taste bad, smell awful, feel repulsive, make shrill noises, have hideous colours, etc.
You have the impression that you are "rowing against the tide", drifting away from the nice things life had reserved for you.
To sum up:
If you are plagued by anxiety, have a hollow sensation in the pit of your stomach, feel drained of energy, tense or nauseous, have pains in your head, chest or stomach, this means that your Inner Guide is warning you via your body:
"Beware, you are in serious danger of making a mistake".
Give things some thought and ask your Inner Guide for confirmation.
Take a step in what you feel is the right direction. Make a preliminary decision that does not commit you too much, then observe the signs.
Your Guide never lies to you. If you are on the wrong track, your body will send you even stronger signs of stress!
Then you will know where you are...
Here now are a few examples of how your
Inner Guide might tell you "You are getting warm":
Everything in your daily life seems to be moving in the right direction without you having to force it, or fight. Other people are kind and spontaneously help you, whether they are close to you or not. Solutions suddenly appear when you thought you were stuck. You feel more cheerful, more light-hearted.
Things happen just at the right moment, as though by a "stroke of luck". You have opportunities to help those around you. Your life has meaning again, and you feel full of energy.
Prompted by all the nice things that are happening to you, you become very aware of your links with your Inner Guide in all circumstances. You are more conscious of the "presence" of your Inner Guide.
You "sense" that nothing is due to chance and that you are helping to make your own luck. You are receiving more and more messages from your Guide in all kinds of situations, even when you are just going about your normal business.
When you have a strong intuition in answer to a question, you will feel full of enthusiasm (this emotion may even be so strong that you are left "trembling with excitement"). You discover, or rediscover innate talents that have been buried inside you for ages. Your imagination is fertile and you have plenty of good ideas. You feel confident and sure of yourself.
You are more and more sensitive to those tiny details that others don't see, you feel fortune is smiling on you.
You notice a great many coincidences that seem to be guiding you (curious recurrence of the same phrases, signs, symbols). All your senses are on the alert (sight, hearing, touch) and your intuition is influencing your body. You feel relaxed, everything is going smoothly.
The words that best describe your state are those like: curiosity, communication, sensitivity, optimism, interest, generosity, attention, flexibility, comprehension, leniency, contentment...
You are attracted by new ideas, you feel yourself being drawn towards a new path. When you think about it, you lose all track of time. You have lots of confidence and enthusiasm. Your body feels well, safe, relaxed.
You feel good about yourself. You don't feel hassled, and you are looking forward confidently to what happens next.
Your five senses (sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste) are sending you nothing but positive signs, i.e. pleasant sensations. Things seem to taste delicious, smell lovely, have harmonious colours, feel nice...
So to sum up, when you are on the right track, the track that enables you to contribute to the positive evolution of the Universe, you develop a great sense of vitality. You feel energy, warmth and enthusiasm mounting inside you.
A profound sense of well-being invades you. You feel that everything is in harmony, everything "rings true".
Do you remember what's it's like to suddenly develop a great passion for someone or something (an idea or project)? This is exactly the kind of feeling I'm talking about.
Your Inner Guide is telling you to "strike out in this favourable direction" and you feel this so strongly that you could cry tears of joy.
This is your Inner Guide's way of saying yes, yes, yes, using signals communicated through your body. Make some more decisions that take you in the same direction, and watch out for more signs. With practice, you will find it easier and easier to recognise really subtle changes in your body.
You will understand when your Guide tells you:
"I refuse to do that"
or alternatively,
"I love the idea of doing that".
Remember that if problematic events occur, it's so that you can learn something from them. In these difficult moments, take the time to "let go" a little. Pause for a while, refresh yourself, be attentive and ask which path to follow. Have the wisdom to look and wait for the "signs" that will show you the right way.
Repeat:
"My Inner Guide is teaching me everything I need to know,
at the precise moment when I need to know it."
How can you try to accelerate the arrival of the help you are requesting?
Tidy up your house, your office. Do a big clean-up, saying to yourself that you are removing all the clutter from your mind, so that you can receive the answers more clearly....
If you come across any clothes, accessories, objects you haven't used in ages, give them away to someone who needs them (law of giving-receiving). You are then showing that besides asking for things, you also know how to give.
Even if there's still no external sign of a solution appearing, show your faith in the Universe. If, for example, you are asking for help to go on a wonderful journey, get hold of all the documentation, get your suitcases ready, think about what you'll need to take with you...
Whatever you have asked for, prepare symbolically for its arrival as though this were imminent, which it probably is...
Meditate whenever you can - this is one of the most effective ways of reawakening your "Inner Guide".
Meditating means talking to your Guide. Every day, at a convenient moment, shut yourself away somewhere quiet. Listen to your "little inner voice" and obey it as soon as it gives you a reply.
Look at yourself in a mirror, look at your body and think about the Infinite Intelligence that resides in it, resides in you.
Say this phrase:
"I am not a physical body,
but I am the Spirit (soul) that uses it".
Reflect, meditate on this phrase as often as possible, to make contact with the Infinite Intelligence via your Soul (your Guide).
Every time you have a free moment, meditate about your current feelings.
I am impatient: why?
I am irritated: why?
I am content: why?
I am happy: why?
What has caused this feeling?
Meditate on the fact that when you say "I", you are not talking about your physical body, but about the Spirit which lives inside you.
This all-powerful Spirit that can do anything for you, which is at your beck and call twenty-four hours a day to help you. This Spirit which is in permanent contact with the Universe.
Remember:
Your "Inner Guide" can find the solution to all your problems.
It can provide an answer to all your questions. It can eliminate all your difficulties using means that seem incomprehensible to the human brain.
Following your intuition means being willing to be guided by your inner wisdom.
Every time your intuition tells you to do something, do it!
And every time it prevents a problem or brings you a "stroke of luck", say thank you to it!
[1] Translator's note: I have added the words in brackets - in French there is no such word derived from Tantalus.
mercredi 2 avril 2008
HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN LOVE
Every human being wants to be successful in love.
This a perfectly natural and legitimate desire. It is a well-known fact that Love occupies a privileged place in the hearts and lives of men and women the world over.
For centuries poets have celebrated the subtlety, the power, the magic and the mystery of Love.
But what exactly is Love?
What you need to know and bear in mind is that Love is all this and a lot more besides…it is also a source of energy, that can assume several forms: emotional, affective, romantic and sexual.
The domain of romantic feelings draws on a "centre of energy" situated in the pelvic area (between the coccyx and sacrum), known as the “Support of the Life Breath Centre” or the Svadhishthana Chakra.
This chakra, linked to sexual feelings and energy, is responsible for "distributing” these energies throughout the body. Furthermore, the SVADHISHTHANA CHAKRA gives rise to encounters with other people, especially the opposite sex.
· When the Svadhishthana Chakra is "operating” harmoniously, you are naturally open towards other people; you express your emotions and feelings spontaneously, without embarassment, awkwardness or excessive modesty. You are joyfully aware of the vital forces of creation within you. Your enthusiasm and optimism are contagious and your magnetism attracts the opposite sex.
· But sometimes the energy of this chakra functions in an unbalanced manner. This imbalance often originates in puberty when the awakening of sexual energy has a destabilising effect because parents and teachers are rarely able to convey the best way of using this energy (what could be really described as sexual education).
If a person has also been starved of affection and tenderness, this can result in a subconscious rejection of romantic and sexual relationships.
This leads to a conflict between desire and "sexual energy” which cannot circulate freely and eventually results in "dormant” emotions, low self-esteem and inhibitions. In short, life appears extremely dreary.
This type of attitude attracts solitude or the type of problems that affect the harmony of a relationship. For example, unpredictable moods, impotence or frigidity, obesity or weight-loss, inhibitions, obsessions, etc.
· To sum up, if your love life or sex life is disappointing, unsatisfactory or even non-existant, it is probably because this energy is partially "blocked” in the area of the Svadhishthana Chakra. This creates an imbalance between giving and receiving (love, tenderness, etc).
· By purifying and activating this chakra, you will exude a natural magnetism. Then, quite simply, you will attract affection and love and you will discover (or rediscover) a stimulating love life and sex life that will grow and devlop harmoniously.
· SECRETS FOR PURIFYING AND ACTIVATING THE SVADHISHTHANA CHAKRA
· The Butterfly
· Lie flat on your back: take time to stretch languorously, then relax for ten minutes or so.
· From a sitting position, bring the soles of your feet together. Bring your heels as close to your body as possible.
· Breathe in as you straighten your body so that your back is straight (your chest rises slightly).
· Clasp the fingers of both hands around your feet. Gently bounce your knees in time with your breathing (like the beating of a butterfly’s wings).
· Concentrate on the area of the Svadhishthana Chakra (lower abdomen) and continue to do so throughout this exercise.
· Repeat the exercise several times, for a few minutes at a time. Finish by leaning forward as you breathe out and returning to your initial position as you breathe in.
· Then, lie flat on your back, breathe calmly and deeply and feel the movement of energy in the lower part of your body.
· Cat Stretch
· Kneel down on "all fours” with your knees and hands placed firmly on the ground and your elbows straight. Keep your back straight, parallel to the ground, and your head slightly raised.
· In this position, breathe deeply for a few minutes, with a short pause between breathing out and in. At the same time, concentrate on the Svadhishthana Chakra (sometimes you feel a sensation of warmth).
· Then, as you breathe in, arch your back upwards as far as you can (just as a cat arches its back) and lower your head gently forwards between your arms.
· As you breathe out, do the opposite, dropping your back and raising your head as far as you can.
· Repeat the exercise in time to your breathing and continuing to concentrate on the area of the chakra.
· Initially, you can do this exercise for 3 minutes, then, later on, for 5 minutes. The longer you do the exercise, the more strongly you will feel the circulation of the current of energy in the area of your lower abdomen.
· Lie flat on your back to relax, continuing to concentrate on the chakra. Be aware of your breathing but don’t try to modify it.
These simple exercises are extremely beneficial to promote the circulation of "sexual energy”. Do them as often as you like, preferably in the morning.
· Natural Resource (*)
Moonlight and contemplating or coming into contact with clear water in natural surroundings will activate the Svadhishthana Chakra.
The Moon, and especially the full Moon, stimulates your sensations and vastly increases your sexual imagination.
· Contemplate clear natural water in silence, bathe in it or drink a few mouthfuls from a clear spring. This will help you to "clear” your chakra of any blockages and emotional inhibitions, to open wide the door to the life that is within you.
· If you are able to contemplate the Moon at the same time as you come into contact with the water, you can be assured of the maximum effect on your Svadhishthana Chakra.
· Aphrodisiac Fragrances
· Ylang-Ylang: The aphrodisiac effect of the essential oil of the flowers of the Ylang-Ylang tree is well-known. It is deeply relaxing and also heightens the awareness of subtle sensual sensations.
Its pleasant fragrance creates a sense of security that gives you renewed confidence in the natural rhythm of your feelings.
In this way, blocked and troubled emotions are banished and dispelled.
· Sandalwood: Sandalwood is often used to stimulate sexual energy and elevate the union with your sexual partner to the level of a spiritual experience. Sandalwood also stimulates the erotic imagination.
You can use these fragrances to create a scented and romantic atmosphere either in the form of incense sticks or essential oils. In the case of the latter there are several possibilities:
Place a few drops in an incense burner or in your bath water.
Or use it to discreetly perfume your lingerie.
Or use a drop to rub gently behind each ear and in the small of your back.
· Infusion of love
· Take 20 grammes of savory, 5 grammes of rosemary, 10 grammes of mint and 10 grammes of orange blossom;
· Bring 1 litre of mineral water to the boil and pour over the herbs. Leave to infuse for 5 minutes. Add 3 spoonfuls of honey.
· Drink a cup of the infusion, morning and evening, for 4 days.
· The sound "O”
· To calm and harmonise the Svadhishthana Chakra, you can listen to the birds singing, the sound of natural running water, or the murmur of an ornamental fountain.
· The chakra is activated by the sound "o” sung on the note D of the chromatic scale. The sound "o” releases a movement of circular energy which arouses deep-seated feelings.
Sing this sound "ooooo” in time to your breathing, without overdoing it, for a few minutes each morning and evening.
This method is very effective for activating the Svadhishthana Chakra since it creates a harmonious interplay between male and female forces. Also, in everyday usage, the exclamation "oh!” is the expression of deep-seated surprise. The capacity for surprise when confronted with the miracles of Creation is therefore revived by the sound "o”.
· The colour Orange
The colour Orange activates the Svadhishthana Chakra extremely effectively. It is a source of invigorating and innovative energy and releases "frozen” emotions. It heightens self-esteem and arouses sensual pleasure. It favours sexual encounters with a view to sharing physical enjoyment.
· For a few minutes each day, contemplate a beautifully clear and luminous orange surface while breathing calmly and deeply. You can, if necessary, create thi surface yourself, giving it a shape that pleases and inspires you.
· Use "touches" of orange in the clothes you wear (silk scarf, scarf, handkerhief, shirt, blouse, etc).
· The power of precious stones
Certain gemstones have the ability to "stimulate” the Svadhishthana Chakra directly if worn or carried about the person.
· Carnelian: helps the wearer to live for the present moment, and promotes concentration and self-esteem. It re-activates the “life force” and makes it easier to express feelings.
· Moonstone: gently opens up your emotional wealth, putting you in touch with the sensitive and receptive part of yourself. With this stone, you have no difficulty in accepting yourself as you are, with all your qualities and faults. It banishes your fear of your emotions and harmonises your emotional balance. In physical terms, moonstone helps to purify the lymphatic system and restore hormonal balance in women.
· THE TANTRIC DANCE
You can use this technique to arouse your energy, especially sexual energy. It will heighten your awareness of the fact that this energy is primarily yours, that it exists deep within you and is simply waiting to be fully aroused for you greater wellbeing.
You will enjoy all its benefits by performing this dance it regularly for 10 to 15 minutes a day.
· Adopt a sitting position and close your eyes. Breathe slowly and deeply until you feel completely relaxed. Be aware of your abdomen and chest rising and falling regularly.
· Begin to rock forwards and backwards for a few moments.
· Now move from left to right, then move your body in a circular clockwise movement, as if you were using your body to draw circles in the air.
· Leaning on your hands placed on either side of your body, gently bounce your buttocks on the floor a dozen or so times to relax the physical area that corresponds to the Svadhishthana Chakra. As you do this, concentrate on this area and remain conscious of it.
· Then stand up and dance to erotic music (choose instrumental music, if possible), moving your pelvis backwards and forwards.
· Continue to dance for 5 minutes and then finish by lying flat on you back and relaxing completely. Thank the Universe and your energy for this dance.
· "ENERGY OF LOVE" RITUAL
To feel the joy of being alive and sharing Love you must first of all: love yourself!
Jesus said: "Love thy neighbour as thyself”
If you do not love youself enough, it becomes difficult to love other people.
The love within you is the same love that you can give to others ….
…and inevitably the same love that others give you in return.
If you love yourself by accepting yourself as you are (with all your qualities and faults), then you will spread love around you and receive it in return.
Whover you are, tell yourself that the Universe loves you just as you are and that it needs you just as you are.
Always remember that CONFIDENCE opens up the heart and enables the energy of love to circulate freely, whereas DOUBT has the opposite effect.
Remember that confidence and doubt are 2 aspects of the same energy.
This means that if you are filled with doubt, you have the same amount of potential energy for confidence. All you have to to is "shift” the balance of this energy from doubt to confidence.
The following ritual is very effective: it enables the energy of love of to circulate more freely (achieving a good balance between GIVING and RECEIVING) while increasing self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love.
· First of all, prepare the Altar in your Sacred Space and make sure you won’t be disturbed during this ritual. Relax by adopting the position in which your body feels most comfortable: the important thing is to begin the ritual when you feel “internalised” and calm.
· Perform the short ritual of the “Cross of the Elements”.
· Adopt a sitting position with your back straight. Breathe deeply while remaining aware of your breathing: as a “column” of warm air penetrating your nostrils and flowing down through your throat, chest and abdomen to your Svadhishthana Chakra.
Breathe naturally and deeply, without overdoing it, simply remaining aware of your breath as it passes through your chest (initially, you can place your hand on your chest, which is rising and falling regularly, to help you be more aware of your breathing in this area).
N.B.: your breathing should be regular and fluid, do not pause between breathing in and out.
· Behind your closed eyelids, visualise a screen as if you were at the cinema. On this screen, visualise a person you love deeply (for example, the person with whom you share or would like to share your life).
· Tell this person of the love you feel for him/her; whisper if you prefer, but express yourself clearly and comprehensibly. Allow your heart to open up and express all your love, and feel this love "flowing” over the other person. Continue to be aware of your breathing "in your heart”, in the area of your chest, as you say are saying this.
· Allow the image of the person you love to fade and now visualise your own image on the screen.
· Open your heart as far as you can and express all the love you feel for yourself. Say aloud:
"I love myself and accept myself as I am;
I am loved as I am;
I accept others as they are and I love them for what they are
I express my emotions in all confidence and security;
I find the source of Love within me;
I open my heart and share pleasant experiences with others, taking account of their needs without becoming dependent on them”.
Give free rein to your emotions and feel them fully (it is quite usual to cry at this point in the ritual).
Allow the energy of self-Love to flow and feed on this energy.
· Continue to focus on your breathing in the area of your chest, and allow your image to fade. Now imagine that this energy of Love is coming from deep within you. Feel it and visualise it as a spring of pink water that wells up and fills your heart until it spills over and flows into infinity.
· When you feel ready, open your eyes again, after thanking the Universe for this ritual.
Perform this ritual for 8 consecutive days, preferably when the Moon is waxing, beginning and ending on a Friday.
On the last day, wear white when you perform the ritual and place a beautiful red rose on your Altar.
After this, perform the ritual whenever you feel the need, on a single day, but always on a Friday.
· CEREMONY OF FORGIVENESS
Fears, energy blocks and limitations of all kinds prevent you from allowing the energy of the Universe that we call Love to flow freely within you.
Forgiveness is the remedy that leads to the full and unreserved acceptance of the energy of Love and its free circulation.
A word of warning: the ritual of Forgiveness is powerful and its Magic Power is very strong. So it should only be performed genuinely: in your soul and in all conscience and sincerity. If not, it could have violent repercussions.
Forgiveness is in fact based on "resentment”. By fully expressing your resentment you can rid yourself of fear, guilt and limitations.
You can use this ritual when:
· You feel remorse towards someone;
· You are irritated with someone for something they have done to you;
· You can’t forget a person who has died and whom you need to forgive or who needed to forgive you;
· You split up with someone to “sort out” your relationship.
· Light a white candle and place it in the centre of your Altar and burn incense.
· Proceed as for the “Energy of Love” ritual (sacred space, breathing, etc.). Then imagine the person appearing before you, on the screen of your closed eyes. You forgive this person for what they have done and say aloud: "I forgive you for having done this or that …”.
At the end, you say: "I forgive you and I release you”.
· Then you ask the person in question to forgive you for all that you think you have done and say: "Forgive me for having done this or that …”
· Finally, you forgive yourself and say: "X (your first name), I forgive you for having done this or that to such and such a person and I release you”.
· Feel released, at peace with yourself, clear and focused. Thank the Universe for this forgiveness and thank yourself.
· Leave the candle to burn down completely making sure that no one goes into the room where the ritual was performed.
You can complete the process of Forgiveness when you take your shower, by imagining that the water is washing away all traces of guilt, all the negative thoughts and emotions resulting from your relationship with the person in question, and that it leaves you totally purified.
· COSMIC ENERGY AND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
You can perform this ritual if you are single, lonely, and you sincerely want to fiind a soul mate.
Your mental attitude (positive or negative thoughts) to a large extent determines your quality of life. If want to attract a true wife (or husband), you must first of all imagine her/him in your thoughts and ideas; i.e. as an "ideal”.
Meditate and say the following prayer morning and night. Just as a seed sown in the ground will germinate, so will the qualities and characteristics of the man (or woman) about whom you are meditating will appear in your life in the the form of the ideal wife (or husband).
· Meditate in your Sacred Space or in a place where you feel comfortable (natural surrounding, a park, lake, etc). Perform the “Cross of the Elements” ritual.
· Then say the following prayer, slowly and out loud, remembering that each word releases a particular type of energy depending on what YOU are thinking as you pronounce it.
It is not so much the words that are important as the thought-energy that accompanies them.
Different people can pronounce the same word and achieve a completely different effect.
For a woman:
"Infinite Intelligence, let me attract a man who believes in marriage and worships the Divinity who gives us life; who is therefore loyal, faithful, spiritual, intelligent, prosperous and successful in life; who is in perfect harmony with me, spiritually, mentally and physically; who loves my ideal and whose ideal I love; who no more seeks to transform me than I seek to change him; we share the same love, freedom and mutual respect; who comes to me free of all commitments, through an act of the Providence that creates all new things.
The intelligence of the Cosmic Energy within me unites us within the Divine Order”.
Take great care not to subsequently deny what you have affirmed, as you will then neutralise the process of prayer.
For a man:
"Infinite Intelligence, let me attract the ideal wife who believes in mariage; who is gracious, charming, honest, sincere, loyal and believes deeply in the
great eternal truths of God; we share the same love, freedom and mutual respect. I am spiritually, mentally and physically united with these qualities in the woman I desire, and I know that while I am meditating on these qualities, they penetrate my subconscious, and I am drawing to me, within the Divine Order and through Divine Love, the woman who is the incarnation of my ideal".
Affirm these truths with deep commitment morning and night. Your subconscious will gradually absorb them and you will automatically attract your ideal spouse: the person with whom you will share love and mutual understanding.
This a perfectly natural and legitimate desire. It is a well-known fact that Love occupies a privileged place in the hearts and lives of men and women the world over.
For centuries poets have celebrated the subtlety, the power, the magic and the mystery of Love.
But what exactly is Love?
What you need to know and bear in mind is that Love is all this and a lot more besides…it is also a source of energy, that can assume several forms: emotional, affective, romantic and sexual.
The domain of romantic feelings draws on a "centre of energy" situated in the pelvic area (between the coccyx and sacrum), known as the “Support of the Life Breath Centre” or the Svadhishthana Chakra.
This chakra, linked to sexual feelings and energy, is responsible for "distributing” these energies throughout the body. Furthermore, the SVADHISHTHANA CHAKRA gives rise to encounters with other people, especially the opposite sex.
· When the Svadhishthana Chakra is "operating” harmoniously, you are naturally open towards other people; you express your emotions and feelings spontaneously, without embarassment, awkwardness or excessive modesty. You are joyfully aware of the vital forces of creation within you. Your enthusiasm and optimism are contagious and your magnetism attracts the opposite sex.
· But sometimes the energy of this chakra functions in an unbalanced manner. This imbalance often originates in puberty when the awakening of sexual energy has a destabilising effect because parents and teachers are rarely able to convey the best way of using this energy (what could be really described as sexual education).
If a person has also been starved of affection and tenderness, this can result in a subconscious rejection of romantic and sexual relationships.
This leads to a conflict between desire and "sexual energy” which cannot circulate freely and eventually results in "dormant” emotions, low self-esteem and inhibitions. In short, life appears extremely dreary.
This type of attitude attracts solitude or the type of problems that affect the harmony of a relationship. For example, unpredictable moods, impotence or frigidity, obesity or weight-loss, inhibitions, obsessions, etc.
· To sum up, if your love life or sex life is disappointing, unsatisfactory or even non-existant, it is probably because this energy is partially "blocked” in the area of the Svadhishthana Chakra. This creates an imbalance between giving and receiving (love, tenderness, etc).
· By purifying and activating this chakra, you will exude a natural magnetism. Then, quite simply, you will attract affection and love and you will discover (or rediscover) a stimulating love life and sex life that will grow and devlop harmoniously.
· SECRETS FOR PURIFYING AND ACTIVATING THE SVADHISHTHANA CHAKRA
· The Butterfly
· Lie flat on your back: take time to stretch languorously, then relax for ten minutes or so.
· From a sitting position, bring the soles of your feet together. Bring your heels as close to your body as possible.
· Breathe in as you straighten your body so that your back is straight (your chest rises slightly).
· Clasp the fingers of both hands around your feet. Gently bounce your knees in time with your breathing (like the beating of a butterfly’s wings).
· Concentrate on the area of the Svadhishthana Chakra (lower abdomen) and continue to do so throughout this exercise.
· Repeat the exercise several times, for a few minutes at a time. Finish by leaning forward as you breathe out and returning to your initial position as you breathe in.
· Then, lie flat on your back, breathe calmly and deeply and feel the movement of energy in the lower part of your body.
· Cat Stretch
· Kneel down on "all fours” with your knees and hands placed firmly on the ground and your elbows straight. Keep your back straight, parallel to the ground, and your head slightly raised.
· In this position, breathe deeply for a few minutes, with a short pause between breathing out and in. At the same time, concentrate on the Svadhishthana Chakra (sometimes you feel a sensation of warmth).
· Then, as you breathe in, arch your back upwards as far as you can (just as a cat arches its back) and lower your head gently forwards between your arms.
· As you breathe out, do the opposite, dropping your back and raising your head as far as you can.
· Repeat the exercise in time to your breathing and continuing to concentrate on the area of the chakra.
· Initially, you can do this exercise for 3 minutes, then, later on, for 5 minutes. The longer you do the exercise, the more strongly you will feel the circulation of the current of energy in the area of your lower abdomen.
· Lie flat on your back to relax, continuing to concentrate on the chakra. Be aware of your breathing but don’t try to modify it.
These simple exercises are extremely beneficial to promote the circulation of "sexual energy”. Do them as often as you like, preferably in the morning.
· Natural Resource (*)
Moonlight and contemplating or coming into contact with clear water in natural surroundings will activate the Svadhishthana Chakra.
The Moon, and especially the full Moon, stimulates your sensations and vastly increases your sexual imagination.
· Contemplate clear natural water in silence, bathe in it or drink a few mouthfuls from a clear spring. This will help you to "clear” your chakra of any blockages and emotional inhibitions, to open wide the door to the life that is within you.
· If you are able to contemplate the Moon at the same time as you come into contact with the water, you can be assured of the maximum effect on your Svadhishthana Chakra.
· Aphrodisiac Fragrances
· Ylang-Ylang: The aphrodisiac effect of the essential oil of the flowers of the Ylang-Ylang tree is well-known. It is deeply relaxing and also heightens the awareness of subtle sensual sensations.
Its pleasant fragrance creates a sense of security that gives you renewed confidence in the natural rhythm of your feelings.
In this way, blocked and troubled emotions are banished and dispelled.
· Sandalwood: Sandalwood is often used to stimulate sexual energy and elevate the union with your sexual partner to the level of a spiritual experience. Sandalwood also stimulates the erotic imagination.
You can use these fragrances to create a scented and romantic atmosphere either in the form of incense sticks or essential oils. In the case of the latter there are several possibilities:
Place a few drops in an incense burner or in your bath water.
Or use it to discreetly perfume your lingerie.
Or use a drop to rub gently behind each ear and in the small of your back.
· Infusion of love
· Take 20 grammes of savory, 5 grammes of rosemary, 10 grammes of mint and 10 grammes of orange blossom;
· Bring 1 litre of mineral water to the boil and pour over the herbs. Leave to infuse for 5 minutes. Add 3 spoonfuls of honey.
· Drink a cup of the infusion, morning and evening, for 4 days.
· The sound "O”
· To calm and harmonise the Svadhishthana Chakra, you can listen to the birds singing, the sound of natural running water, or the murmur of an ornamental fountain.
· The chakra is activated by the sound "o” sung on the note D of the chromatic scale. The sound "o” releases a movement of circular energy which arouses deep-seated feelings.
Sing this sound "ooooo” in time to your breathing, without overdoing it, for a few minutes each morning and evening.
This method is very effective for activating the Svadhishthana Chakra since it creates a harmonious interplay between male and female forces. Also, in everyday usage, the exclamation "oh!” is the expression of deep-seated surprise. The capacity for surprise when confronted with the miracles of Creation is therefore revived by the sound "o”.
· The colour Orange
The colour Orange activates the Svadhishthana Chakra extremely effectively. It is a source of invigorating and innovative energy and releases "frozen” emotions. It heightens self-esteem and arouses sensual pleasure. It favours sexual encounters with a view to sharing physical enjoyment.
· For a few minutes each day, contemplate a beautifully clear and luminous orange surface while breathing calmly and deeply. You can, if necessary, create thi surface yourself, giving it a shape that pleases and inspires you.
· Use "touches" of orange in the clothes you wear (silk scarf, scarf, handkerhief, shirt, blouse, etc).
· The power of precious stones
Certain gemstones have the ability to "stimulate” the Svadhishthana Chakra directly if worn or carried about the person.
· Carnelian: helps the wearer to live for the present moment, and promotes concentration and self-esteem. It re-activates the “life force” and makes it easier to express feelings.
· Moonstone: gently opens up your emotional wealth, putting you in touch with the sensitive and receptive part of yourself. With this stone, you have no difficulty in accepting yourself as you are, with all your qualities and faults. It banishes your fear of your emotions and harmonises your emotional balance. In physical terms, moonstone helps to purify the lymphatic system and restore hormonal balance in women.
· THE TANTRIC DANCE
You can use this technique to arouse your energy, especially sexual energy. It will heighten your awareness of the fact that this energy is primarily yours, that it exists deep within you and is simply waiting to be fully aroused for you greater wellbeing.
You will enjoy all its benefits by performing this dance it regularly for 10 to 15 minutes a day.
· Adopt a sitting position and close your eyes. Breathe slowly and deeply until you feel completely relaxed. Be aware of your abdomen and chest rising and falling regularly.
· Begin to rock forwards and backwards for a few moments.
· Now move from left to right, then move your body in a circular clockwise movement, as if you were using your body to draw circles in the air.
· Leaning on your hands placed on either side of your body, gently bounce your buttocks on the floor a dozen or so times to relax the physical area that corresponds to the Svadhishthana Chakra. As you do this, concentrate on this area and remain conscious of it.
· Then stand up and dance to erotic music (choose instrumental music, if possible), moving your pelvis backwards and forwards.
· Continue to dance for 5 minutes and then finish by lying flat on you back and relaxing completely. Thank the Universe and your energy for this dance.
· "ENERGY OF LOVE" RITUAL
To feel the joy of being alive and sharing Love you must first of all: love yourself!
Jesus said: "Love thy neighbour as thyself”
If you do not love youself enough, it becomes difficult to love other people.
The love within you is the same love that you can give to others ….
…and inevitably the same love that others give you in return.
If you love yourself by accepting yourself as you are (with all your qualities and faults), then you will spread love around you and receive it in return.
Whover you are, tell yourself that the Universe loves you just as you are and that it needs you just as you are.
Always remember that CONFIDENCE opens up the heart and enables the energy of love to circulate freely, whereas DOUBT has the opposite effect.
Remember that confidence and doubt are 2 aspects of the same energy.
This means that if you are filled with doubt, you have the same amount of potential energy for confidence. All you have to to is "shift” the balance of this energy from doubt to confidence.
The following ritual is very effective: it enables the energy of love of to circulate more freely (achieving a good balance between GIVING and RECEIVING) while increasing self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love.
· First of all, prepare the Altar in your Sacred Space and make sure you won’t be disturbed during this ritual. Relax by adopting the position in which your body feels most comfortable: the important thing is to begin the ritual when you feel “internalised” and calm.
· Perform the short ritual of the “Cross of the Elements”.
· Adopt a sitting position with your back straight. Breathe deeply while remaining aware of your breathing: as a “column” of warm air penetrating your nostrils and flowing down through your throat, chest and abdomen to your Svadhishthana Chakra.
Breathe naturally and deeply, without overdoing it, simply remaining aware of your breath as it passes through your chest (initially, you can place your hand on your chest, which is rising and falling regularly, to help you be more aware of your breathing in this area).
N.B.: your breathing should be regular and fluid, do not pause between breathing in and out.
· Behind your closed eyelids, visualise a screen as if you were at the cinema. On this screen, visualise a person you love deeply (for example, the person with whom you share or would like to share your life).
· Tell this person of the love you feel for him/her; whisper if you prefer, but express yourself clearly and comprehensibly. Allow your heart to open up and express all your love, and feel this love "flowing” over the other person. Continue to be aware of your breathing "in your heart”, in the area of your chest, as you say are saying this.
· Allow the image of the person you love to fade and now visualise your own image on the screen.
· Open your heart as far as you can and express all the love you feel for yourself. Say aloud:
"I love myself and accept myself as I am;
I am loved as I am;
I accept others as they are and I love them for what they are
I express my emotions in all confidence and security;
I find the source of Love within me;
I open my heart and share pleasant experiences with others, taking account of their needs without becoming dependent on them”.
Give free rein to your emotions and feel them fully (it is quite usual to cry at this point in the ritual).
Allow the energy of self-Love to flow and feed on this energy.
· Continue to focus on your breathing in the area of your chest, and allow your image to fade. Now imagine that this energy of Love is coming from deep within you. Feel it and visualise it as a spring of pink water that wells up and fills your heart until it spills over and flows into infinity.
· When you feel ready, open your eyes again, after thanking the Universe for this ritual.
Perform this ritual for 8 consecutive days, preferably when the Moon is waxing, beginning and ending on a Friday.
On the last day, wear white when you perform the ritual and place a beautiful red rose on your Altar.
After this, perform the ritual whenever you feel the need, on a single day, but always on a Friday.
· CEREMONY OF FORGIVENESS
Fears, energy blocks and limitations of all kinds prevent you from allowing the energy of the Universe that we call Love to flow freely within you.
Forgiveness is the remedy that leads to the full and unreserved acceptance of the energy of Love and its free circulation.
A word of warning: the ritual of Forgiveness is powerful and its Magic Power is very strong. So it should only be performed genuinely: in your soul and in all conscience and sincerity. If not, it could have violent repercussions.
Forgiveness is in fact based on "resentment”. By fully expressing your resentment you can rid yourself of fear, guilt and limitations.
You can use this ritual when:
· You feel remorse towards someone;
· You are irritated with someone for something they have done to you;
· You can’t forget a person who has died and whom you need to forgive or who needed to forgive you;
· You split up with someone to “sort out” your relationship.
· Light a white candle and place it in the centre of your Altar and burn incense.
· Proceed as for the “Energy of Love” ritual (sacred space, breathing, etc.). Then imagine the person appearing before you, on the screen of your closed eyes. You forgive this person for what they have done and say aloud: "I forgive you for having done this or that …”.
At the end, you say: "I forgive you and I release you”.
· Then you ask the person in question to forgive you for all that you think you have done and say: "Forgive me for having done this or that …”
· Finally, you forgive yourself and say: "X (your first name), I forgive you for having done this or that to such and such a person and I release you”.
· Feel released, at peace with yourself, clear and focused. Thank the Universe for this forgiveness and thank yourself.
· Leave the candle to burn down completely making sure that no one goes into the room where the ritual was performed.
You can complete the process of Forgiveness when you take your shower, by imagining that the water is washing away all traces of guilt, all the negative thoughts and emotions resulting from your relationship with the person in question, and that it leaves you totally purified.
· COSMIC ENERGY AND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
You can perform this ritual if you are single, lonely, and you sincerely want to fiind a soul mate.
Your mental attitude (positive or negative thoughts) to a large extent determines your quality of life. If want to attract a true wife (or husband), you must first of all imagine her/him in your thoughts and ideas; i.e. as an "ideal”.
Meditate and say the following prayer morning and night. Just as a seed sown in the ground will germinate, so will the qualities and characteristics of the man (or woman) about whom you are meditating will appear in your life in the the form of the ideal wife (or husband).
· Meditate in your Sacred Space or in a place where you feel comfortable (natural surrounding, a park, lake, etc). Perform the “Cross of the Elements” ritual.
· Then say the following prayer, slowly and out loud, remembering that each word releases a particular type of energy depending on what YOU are thinking as you pronounce it.
It is not so much the words that are important as the thought-energy that accompanies them.
Different people can pronounce the same word and achieve a completely different effect.
For a woman:
"Infinite Intelligence, let me attract a man who believes in marriage and worships the Divinity who gives us life; who is therefore loyal, faithful, spiritual, intelligent, prosperous and successful in life; who is in perfect harmony with me, spiritually, mentally and physically; who loves my ideal and whose ideal I love; who no more seeks to transform me than I seek to change him; we share the same love, freedom and mutual respect; who comes to me free of all commitments, through an act of the Providence that creates all new things.
The intelligence of the Cosmic Energy within me unites us within the Divine Order”.
Take great care not to subsequently deny what you have affirmed, as you will then neutralise the process of prayer.
For a man:
"Infinite Intelligence, let me attract the ideal wife who believes in mariage; who is gracious, charming, honest, sincere, loyal and believes deeply in the
great eternal truths of God; we share the same love, freedom and mutual respect. I am spiritually, mentally and physically united with these qualities in the woman I desire, and I know that while I am meditating on these qualities, they penetrate my subconscious, and I am drawing to me, within the Divine Order and through Divine Love, the woman who is the incarnation of my ideal".
Affirm these truths with deep commitment morning and night. Your subconscious will gradually absorb them and you will automatically attract your ideal spouse: the person with whom you will share love and mutual understanding.
MASTERING THE ART OF SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
RECOGNISING THE NEED FOR OTHER PEOPLE
Firstly, it is important to understand that: lucky opportunities only exist within the framework of relationships that you create in society.
Imagine, for example, that following a catastrophe, humanity all disappeared except for one man. The issue of luck will not be important for him and all of his hopes will be focused on getting food and surviving in good health, without physical pain!
If luck brought him some other people who also escaped the cataclysm, then luck will start to bother him again: being accepted by the group, having a purpose, having a fair share that he needs to counter the greed of others….
It is useful to emphasise: bad luck, failure or obstructions, annoyances and reversals of fortune come primarily from a bad attitude to social life. It is obvious, to take just one example, that how useful someone is to a group that they are in, will determine their luck to a great degree.
It is one of the reasons why it is imperative to recognise your need for other people. To deny this need is like being isolated from society, losing the advantages and benefits that come from relationships with others, whether they are commercial, professional, friendships or any other.
What’s more, don’t we usually say, quite rightly, “unity is strength”? In most cases, the best way to improve our luck and success is to cultivate interesting, useful and advantageous relationships.
So it is wise to discover how to change your behaviour to expand your relationships: join groups and clubs, become a member of professional or cultural associations, go on holiday with groups, etc.
It is also desirable to improve your “technique” in relationships: to let others speak, to take a sincere interest in them, to learn how to listen to other people, to overcome your worries, to master communication, to not open yourself up, to be discrete, to become a sympathetic confident of many people….
Many people think that it is difficult to master the art of relationships… in truth, it is enough to know the rules that govern them... By following the advice given in these pages, you will soon be able to be at ease in any company and in any situation to make the most of relationships that you will know how to create.
ALL RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN THROUGH COMMUNICATIONS
Social life must happen through communication. We can’t help communicating: even silence has a meaning. In one way or another, communication always ends up happening.
It seems obvious that the way of communicating depends greatly on the type of relationship that we have with others. And our quality of life depends a lot on the quality of our relationships with others, whether we are talking about love, work, finances, health, travel, studies, etc
How many people fail in life because they cannot communicate? How many people spend their time endlessly talking about “me, me, me” without realising that the person they are speaking jeers at what they say, because they would also like to talk a bit about themselves?
Making ourselves understood depends on the way we communicate. And if we do not get our message across clearly, it is up to us to change the way we communicate. The “resistance” of people we speak to then become a sign that we need to communicate “differently”.
In fact, communication has its own “philosophy” and its own rules, generally reinforced by experience.
First of all, you should know that each one of us has in our head not reality, but a map of reality – for convenience, let’s call it a “World View”. We collect and process data coming from the world through our senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste).
Why talk about a “View”? Because just like a view or picture of London is not London, but a representation of that city, so our “World View” – what we have in our head – is not reality, but a representation of reality.
In other words, we do not react to reality, but according to representations of reality, representations that are “built” according to our own personal life story, according to the conditions we have lived in, the time, the place where we grew up, etc.
Not everything that we have in our head has come through our eyes, our nose, our ears, our skin and our mouth. There is also extra information concerning our body, our desires, our emotions and feelings, our needs and intentions, which are generally transmitted by a combination of subtle internal physical sensations, called kinaesthetic sensations.
They act as a great mass of agreeable or disagreeable sensations, generally expressed by words that play an important role in our experiences – and thus in the building of our representations of things, in the building of our World View.
All this tends to complicate communication because each of us has our own World View. In fact, we look at life as if we wear a pair of “mental glasses”: in good faith. We all believe that we can “see” or grasp life “as it really is”, perfectly objectively! Some argue with others more or less often about the “correct perception” and the “bad faith” of the other….
A simple example will enable you to understand what we are talking about. A man asks three workmen: “What are you doing?”
I am digging a hole, the first answers.
I’m earning a crust, the second answers
I am building a cathedral, the third answers.
Here’s a clear illustration that each workman has his own World View, different from that of the other two.
In the various situations we find ourselves in, we are all convinced that our own view of the world is the right one. Where does this great misunderstanding come from? Essentially it is difficult for people to admit that it is not easy for our minds to grasp reality, and consequently that words are not the best way to describe many aspects.
It follows that communications is to some extent undermined by different types of unconscious reactions on the part of the people you are speaking to. Among these reactions, we could mention generalisation, which tends to restrict reality, or distortion, which makes us transform reality, or even selective filters that make it possible to retain certain aspects of our experiences and to eliminate others (to save space in the memory, to avoid painful memories, etc)
Note that more than 90% of people are not very conscious of what they choose! Are you well aware yourself of the way you communicate?
For example: What pieces of information do you select? What strategies do you favour? What emotions do you “block”? Do you communicate the way you were taught? Is your communication a way to show yourself off? Do you always learn a lesson from your communication? Are you natural and authentic when you communicate? And so on
Now you understand why, as language is the most used way of communicating socially, verbal communication is largely prone to all sorts of misunderstandings, mistakes and confusion.
To overcome these problems, all you have to do is follow some simple rules. The rules that I will explain to you will ensure that you communicate in a beneficial and satisfactory way. They are used by the biggest names in the world, and they have been proved reliable on many occasions. All they ask of you is a little willpower and attentiveness.
THE RULES OF SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION
School teaches us how to calculate the nth root of pi to three decimals places. But it does not teach us how to behave properly in company. We are embarrassed and lost for words when we need to solve relationship problems at work, between friends or couples…
A well-known psychologist said: “Any fool can criticise, condemn or complain. But we need personality and control to be understanding and be able to forgive.”
Does that make you think of someone? Someone close to you… or perhaps yourself!
Every time one of those close to us does something a little out of line, we are all critical. In the long run, this criticism completely destroys that person’s self-confidence.
For example, if at a meeting someone is late and is given a real roasting (especially in front of others), they will be upset and no good will come of it. On the other hand, if he is given a good reputation, for example by someone saying to everyone: “So-and-so is extraordinarily punctual, he is always on time”, it might be wrong at first, but that person will make an effort – and this works. I have tested it personally more than once. In the past, I always thought badly of people, thought I was “top of the pile”, to be able to criticise what everyone else did. I realised that this was mean.
Use the following rules that will enable you to better understand people you speak to and so communicate better. Some of the following points will help you to radically transform the tense contacts that you could have with other people.
· Perception of things
To communicate in an effective way, you must understand that every person perceives the world in a different way. The first rule: always keep in mind that the “Map of the World” of the person you are speaking to may not be the same as yours. By following this guiding principle, you will approach the relationship with a spirit of openness, to keep benevolent neutrality. Consequently communication has every chance of being profitable, because it is built on respectful and tolerant exchange.
· Really take an interest in others
Generally, the people who succeed and are happy take an interest in other people. When someone speaks to you about themselves, their family, their health, their troubles, avoid appearing as disinterested or bored. Don’t start talking about yourself, or else you show a lack of respect and interest in the other person. To behave this way towards other people damages success, and also creates important situations that at first seem trivial.
Learn how to listen to others. Most people need to tell their story to feel happy. Based on this principle, if you want to be appreciated by someone you are talking to, you will have to listen to him or her much more than talk to him or her.
Be sociable: speak to others about what interest them, encourage the others to speak about themselves, make them feel important – and do it sincerely. Surely you know that people who speak easily to everybody, they always have something to say to the bus driver, taxi driver, to the girl in the bakery, the dog or cat in the restaurant, the café owner, the tour guide, a teacher or lecturer. Some say that people like this are devious. Not at all. These people have a very well developed social sense and this helps them to automatically be in tune with the people they speak to, whatever the situation.
The great psychologist Adler said: “The individual who is not interested in his fellow man is the person who will meet the greatest difficulties in life and harms other most.”
Also, when you meet a person who is too tired to give you a smile, smile at them yourself. Because no one needs a smile more than someone has nothing more to give.
In addition, the name of a person is very important. Getting it wrong is the best way to make an enemy of someone. To remember it is the best way of making a friend. Communicating well means being honestly interested in others and putting yourself in their shoes and not to see things only from your own viewpoint.
· Be "listening"
I want to emphasise this point: the art of communication comes from listening.
Listening to others is a service that you can perform for them. Nowadays, no one really listens any more, and if you give your time and listen to people you are speaking to or to those you love, you are giving them one of the most beautiful gifts there is.
Try it, and you will realise that people are very sensitive to this and will return your kindness one hundredfold!
Moreover, the fact that you listen, you are receptive and open enables you to better understand other people, to be on the same wavelength as them, and this will be true even if you disagree. Don’t attack them because they don’t share your views. Accept the opinions of others and remain open. You have the absolute right to have your own opinions, but that doesn’t mean that you have the truth. Remember that each one of us has our own truth…. Or rather our own interpretation of the truth. Yours is no better than your neighbour’s. So respect the opinions or “truths” of others.
· Don’t criticise
Here’s a golden rule that you should never break, under pain of “scuttling” communication! Understand that 99 percent of people judge themselves innocent whatever their faults. So it is useless to judge and criticise others on their actions. Communicating well implies not criticising, condemning or complaining.
Today we live in the communication age. However, paradoxically, human relationships have never been so cold. Relationships have become “remote”, because of the use of tools that depersonalise communication: the phone, fax, email and other electronic communications.
The majority of people don’t know how to communicate: they burp, grumble, insult, they spit out their words and phrases without any respect for the person they are addressing. This can’t be called communication, but rather an “exchange of aggression”.
Rather than be concerned with what enters our mouths, we should watch more carefully what leaves them.
IMPORTANT:
Be conscious that every word releases a particular energy, depending on what you think when you say it. What is important is not the word, but the “thought energy” that accompanies it. Different people can speak the same word, but each could have a different effect.
You must become aware of your thoughts and what you feel when you speak, in order not to thrust anything onto the person you speak to. Very often, people are not clear in their communication, because there is too great a gap between what they say and what they think, leading to all sorts of misunderstandings.
So it is important that you are conscious of every word that you say, and to do that, you must speak slowly.
Only people with a low level of consciousness allow themselves to always be critical and judgmental. If you don’t like something, say simply and calmly, “I don’t like that or that is not appropriate for me” or “that doesn’t interest me”.
But don’t say: “It’s lousy or it’s false”, because everything has its place in the universe, or else it would not exist. It’s not up to you to say whether something is fair or not; don’t think you are something you’re not, namely an omnipotent God!
I’m sure you will already have noticed this: when you are full of compassion, respect, tolerance, you do not feel like criticising or demolishing the person who disagrees with you, nor focus on this opinion or that ideology. Understand that you are not here for that, but simply determine what is right for you, for your development, and the rest is not pointless, but is just not appropriate to you.
One more thing: when you communicate, try to drop the trivia as much as possible. Remain quiet rather than say just anything. Silent communication is certainly a difficult art, but it is very powerful.
A lot of energy can pass in silence. So, you can pass on all the love you have: you can express your inner peace much more easily; you can concentrate on enlightening thoughts that will offer to others.
It isn’t by chance that spiritual masters often communicate in silence, because silence is much more powerful than words. In silence, energy is passed in a pure state without the mental state of the person you are communicating with being able to interpret what you say. Silence is more than mental.
For example, when two people are in the same energy and they have a radiant love for each other, their communication becomes almost telepathic. Telepathy is a form of spiritual communication by which two people feel the same energy; they are both immersed in an unconditional love. Beyond words, the magic of love transports themselves on the wings of communion.
Communication is an exchange and not a battle, so renounce criticism and rumour mongering from your discussions. Believe me, you will only gain advantages from the conversations; you will avoid controversy or conflict… which is the best way of coming out of them successfully.
Conversely, if in the heat of conversation the person you are speaking to criticise you, don’t react immediately by taking it personally. Even if this criticism of you has a certain basis in fact, don’t take it as a personal attack.
What’s happening in fact?
Most of the time, the person you are talking to is confronted with his own feelings, beliefs and opinions. He tries to send “emotional poison” in order to unsettle you, but actually he does nothing more than consciously projects onto you his own resentment.
If you take it personally, you feel offended and your reaction will be to defend your opinions, which is likely to cause conflict. Don’t try to show that you are right, by imposing your views and by finding fault in others. Instead show flexibility, skill or compassion; turn the conversation to another subject, change the argument, etc… in short, show you are better than the other person and control the communication.
Here’s a fable that teaches an important principle in communication: it pays to give compliments.
After a long day’s work, a farmer put in front of his farm workers a large pile of hay, as a supper. The men asked him angrily if he had lost his mind, and he answered:
"How could I know that you’d spot the difference? I’ve fed you for twenty years. And in all that time, you’ve only ever said to me once that you don’t eat hay!"
Communicating well implies complimenting people honestly and sincerely. In general, it is much less painful to hear negative remarks after a compliment on our qualities or those of the person you are speaking to.
· Be attentive
Developing your faculty for listening means being receptive and keeping an open kind. Life presents each of us with many lessons that will be of no use if we are not broadminded.
In addition, being attentive supposes that you know how to profit from messages that reach you from people you are speaking to, verbally or through other means. Indeed, you can be very receptive to what someone says to you, without at the same time being able to “decode” the information (verbal, visual, smells, sounds, kinaesthetic…) delivered during the conversation. To carefully analyse information that people send out, it is necessary to be attentive!
Perhaps you know the story of the very pious man who had an unlimited confidence in God. He spent every day in prayer and he was certain that, if something unwelcome happened to him, the Lord would help him.
One day, it started to rain. This man’s village was flooded, and everyone rushed for get under cover. Neighbours passed very close to his home in their cars and urged him to go with them.
- The Lord will save me, he answered.
The rain continued to fall, and the water level rose so high that the man went up to the first floor of his house. A boat passed by his home, and the occupants urged him to get on broad. But again he answered:
- No, thank you. The Lord will save me.
The floodwaters kept rising, and the man had to take shelter on the roof of his house to take shelter. A helicopter flew over and the pilot yelled:
- I’ll throw down a rope and I’ll pull you up inside.
- That’s very nice of you, the pious man said to the pilot, but the Lord is ready to help me. God will do what He needs to do to save me.
In a few minutes, the water level passed the top of the houses, and the man was washed away and drowned. He arrived in heaven and when God, who was meeting the newcomers, saw him, he was very surprised.
- What are you doing here? Your time hasn’t come yet.
Then the man said to God:
- I believed in you, I believed that you would come to save me. I waited and you didn’t come. What happened?
And God replied:
- I sent you a car, a boat and even a helicopter. What more do you want?
The moral of the story is that you have to pay attention to messages that you receive and don’t force them to give you the signals that you are waiting for.
You should know that communication doesn’t solve everything: it’s understanding the messages that enrich our relationships with others, and a lack of understanding poisons them.
For example: how many times after you have argued with someone dear to you have you found that the disagreement came from a simple misunderstanding? The better we know each other, the more we grow to understand each other. However, it’s not unusual to misunderstand the intentions or words of others.
Most tension and poor communication comes from misunderstanding. To avoid them, it is right that you make an effort to communicate, but your efforts will only be really effective if you aim to create understanding.
This understanding happens on several levels:
- Understanding yourself and others better.
- Understanding that men and women react differently to stress.
- Understanding the emotions or feelings underlay the reactions of others.
- Accepting that appearances can be misleading (for example: when someone shrugs their shoulders at you, this might not have the same meaning for them as it does for you).
- Accepting that what might be simple for you to say might be different for others.
- Accepting that certain words that might seem comforting could actually be hurtful for the other person.
- Accepting that what is good for you is not certain to be good for others.
Not forgetting that through their World View, others speak a “different language”, even if it sounds a bit like yours.
· Other people are a mirror for yourself
Please think about this fundamental truth:
If you like or you hate something in someone else, then you like or hate it in yourself.
This is the conclusion of several teams of social science experts (psychologists, sociologists, neurologists, philosophers….) during experiments bringing together many social and economic classes, from tests carried out over several years.
You get a first impression when you meet someone for the first time. You decide in an instant whether you like the person or not. You decide through tiny details, such as their perfume or the colour of their eyes, or by recollections from your own unconscious memories.
In fact, the reactions that we have to other people are a barometer for the way that we see ourselves. They say much more about us than the other person. If we like or hate something in the other person, it’s because we like or hate it in ourselves.
People are spontaneously attracted to people who are like themselves and instinctively reject people who are different. We judge others through our own experiences, our feelings and our beliefs. Despite that, we are convinced that we are perfectly objective, because we usually remain fixed to our own World View.
However, try to imagine that people who you meet will, like a mirror, give you back very important information. If you accept this principle, every new meeting will give you the opportunity to understand yourself better and develop your knowledge.
Suppose for a moment that qualities that you admire in others – their energy, their talents – are in fact the characteristics that you want in yourself. Doesn’t this illuminate your idea of your own worth?
In the same way, you can think of people you don’t like as “gifts”, because they highlight the things that you don’t like in yourself. Every time that you are annoyed, hurt or irritated by someone else, think that you have the chance to pay them back for a forgotten episode of anger, sorrow or irritation.
Being able to distinguish weaknesses in others allows you the compassion to put your arm round them, and perhaps gives you the opportunity to soften your damning judgement of yourself too. If you do this, it also becomes possible to consider people who approach you as mirrors on yourself, whether they are people you like or people you don’t like.
In this way, you will be able to discern your own qualities, but also the aspects of your own personality that you don’t like. The point of this rule is to move from judging to exploring your own personality. To do this, you need to be able to evaluate all the decisions, judgements and projections that you make about others, and look at these things as revealing clues to allow you to “cure” your own weaknesses and to gain your own integrity.
Absorbing the lessons learnt from following this rule, you will develop more tolerance, open-mindedness, compassion, the ability to listen, and you will take a decisive step towards very profitable communication.
· The magic of a good impression
You are digging. If the spade is put in properly, you will remove a good shovelful. You are swimming. It’s the push off the wall that propels you down the pool. You are writing. The quality of your story depends on the first paragraph.
A good first impression has always helped the people who knew how to make the most of it.
When we meet people for the first time, it is our clothes rather than our personality that makes the strongest impression. What we wear makes a good or bad impression, and illustrates our character and social position.
The right clothes mean Strength, Power. You must make a good impression on the world if you want to make a success of your social relationships…. And to even create miracles. It’s a fact that the world judges you according to the clothes that you wear and treats you accordingly.
Presenting yourself badly attracts a feeling of mistrust from others; a poor appearance does not just indicate a lack of care, but even a depressed and morbid state of mind. Learn how to impress people you meet by your immaculate appearance.
That’s life: those who have will be given more – so “pretend” to have things. Act as if you are a success, have great self-assurance and self-confidence. Beautiful new clothes have a “magical” effect on the way we carry ourselves, and give their wearer the feeling of success and self-esteem.
Look at nature: the peacock does not spread its tail to disturb its neighbours and the lion does not bristle its mane out of animosity – these are nature’s ways of expressing their majesty, to make a good impression.
If you want to attract influential, benevolent and protective relationships, if you want to rely on the support of people around you, then you need to appear to be a success before you actually are one. For example, you can wear things that suggest wealth or luxury: gold, silk, etc. Also take care of your appearance, your skin, your hands (hands tell us a lot about someone), and your hairstyle….
Always keep in mind that the impression that you make on others is very important: your luck depends mainly on what others think of you.
· The tricks that make communication easier
Recognise faults: Everyone can deny that they are wrong. Only great people are capable of admitting that they are wrong. Communicating well means admitting your faults, promptly and sincerely.
Speak vigorously: Taking the eyes and seizing the imagination of others means you have more chance to convince them.
Speak indirectly: If you have to point out errors or faults in others, it’s best to do it in an indirect way so that you don’t hurt their feelings. It is also good to mention your own mistakes before those of others… you must always give others the chance to save face.
The theory of three Yes’s: There’s a theory, proved many times, that if you manage to get someone you are speaking to, to say “yes” twice, the third time they will always say “yes”. So to get someone to admit something, it’s useful to ask two easier questions that the other person must answer “yes” and then ask the third question that is so important to you.
In a similar way: to get your ideas accepted, it is sometimes useful to make the other person believe that the idea came from them …
Firstly, it is important to understand that: lucky opportunities only exist within the framework of relationships that you create in society.
Imagine, for example, that following a catastrophe, humanity all disappeared except for one man. The issue of luck will not be important for him and all of his hopes will be focused on getting food and surviving in good health, without physical pain!
If luck brought him some other people who also escaped the cataclysm, then luck will start to bother him again: being accepted by the group, having a purpose, having a fair share that he needs to counter the greed of others….
It is useful to emphasise: bad luck, failure or obstructions, annoyances and reversals of fortune come primarily from a bad attitude to social life. It is obvious, to take just one example, that how useful someone is to a group that they are in, will determine their luck to a great degree.
It is one of the reasons why it is imperative to recognise your need for other people. To deny this need is like being isolated from society, losing the advantages and benefits that come from relationships with others, whether they are commercial, professional, friendships or any other.
What’s more, don’t we usually say, quite rightly, “unity is strength”? In most cases, the best way to improve our luck and success is to cultivate interesting, useful and advantageous relationships.
So it is wise to discover how to change your behaviour to expand your relationships: join groups and clubs, become a member of professional or cultural associations, go on holiday with groups, etc.
It is also desirable to improve your “technique” in relationships: to let others speak, to take a sincere interest in them, to learn how to listen to other people, to overcome your worries, to master communication, to not open yourself up, to be discrete, to become a sympathetic confident of many people….
Many people think that it is difficult to master the art of relationships… in truth, it is enough to know the rules that govern them... By following the advice given in these pages, you will soon be able to be at ease in any company and in any situation to make the most of relationships that you will know how to create.
ALL RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN THROUGH COMMUNICATIONS
Social life must happen through communication. We can’t help communicating: even silence has a meaning. In one way or another, communication always ends up happening.
It seems obvious that the way of communicating depends greatly on the type of relationship that we have with others. And our quality of life depends a lot on the quality of our relationships with others, whether we are talking about love, work, finances, health, travel, studies, etc
How many people fail in life because they cannot communicate? How many people spend their time endlessly talking about “me, me, me” without realising that the person they are speaking jeers at what they say, because they would also like to talk a bit about themselves?
Making ourselves understood depends on the way we communicate. And if we do not get our message across clearly, it is up to us to change the way we communicate. The “resistance” of people we speak to then become a sign that we need to communicate “differently”.
In fact, communication has its own “philosophy” and its own rules, generally reinforced by experience.
First of all, you should know that each one of us has in our head not reality, but a map of reality – for convenience, let’s call it a “World View”. We collect and process data coming from the world through our senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste).
Why talk about a “View”? Because just like a view or picture of London is not London, but a representation of that city, so our “World View” – what we have in our head – is not reality, but a representation of reality.
In other words, we do not react to reality, but according to representations of reality, representations that are “built” according to our own personal life story, according to the conditions we have lived in, the time, the place where we grew up, etc.
Not everything that we have in our head has come through our eyes, our nose, our ears, our skin and our mouth. There is also extra information concerning our body, our desires, our emotions and feelings, our needs and intentions, which are generally transmitted by a combination of subtle internal physical sensations, called kinaesthetic sensations.
They act as a great mass of agreeable or disagreeable sensations, generally expressed by words that play an important role in our experiences – and thus in the building of our representations of things, in the building of our World View.
All this tends to complicate communication because each of us has our own World View. In fact, we look at life as if we wear a pair of “mental glasses”: in good faith. We all believe that we can “see” or grasp life “as it really is”, perfectly objectively! Some argue with others more or less often about the “correct perception” and the “bad faith” of the other….
A simple example will enable you to understand what we are talking about. A man asks three workmen: “What are you doing?”
I am digging a hole, the first answers.
I’m earning a crust, the second answers
I am building a cathedral, the third answers.
Here’s a clear illustration that each workman has his own World View, different from that of the other two.
In the various situations we find ourselves in, we are all convinced that our own view of the world is the right one. Where does this great misunderstanding come from? Essentially it is difficult for people to admit that it is not easy for our minds to grasp reality, and consequently that words are not the best way to describe many aspects.
It follows that communications is to some extent undermined by different types of unconscious reactions on the part of the people you are speaking to. Among these reactions, we could mention generalisation, which tends to restrict reality, or distortion, which makes us transform reality, or even selective filters that make it possible to retain certain aspects of our experiences and to eliminate others (to save space in the memory, to avoid painful memories, etc)
Note that more than 90% of people are not very conscious of what they choose! Are you well aware yourself of the way you communicate?
For example: What pieces of information do you select? What strategies do you favour? What emotions do you “block”? Do you communicate the way you were taught? Is your communication a way to show yourself off? Do you always learn a lesson from your communication? Are you natural and authentic when you communicate? And so on
Now you understand why, as language is the most used way of communicating socially, verbal communication is largely prone to all sorts of misunderstandings, mistakes and confusion.
To overcome these problems, all you have to do is follow some simple rules. The rules that I will explain to you will ensure that you communicate in a beneficial and satisfactory way. They are used by the biggest names in the world, and they have been proved reliable on many occasions. All they ask of you is a little willpower and attentiveness.
THE RULES OF SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION
School teaches us how to calculate the nth root of pi to three decimals places. But it does not teach us how to behave properly in company. We are embarrassed and lost for words when we need to solve relationship problems at work, between friends or couples…
A well-known psychologist said: “Any fool can criticise, condemn or complain. But we need personality and control to be understanding and be able to forgive.”
Does that make you think of someone? Someone close to you… or perhaps yourself!
Every time one of those close to us does something a little out of line, we are all critical. In the long run, this criticism completely destroys that person’s self-confidence.
For example, if at a meeting someone is late and is given a real roasting (especially in front of others), they will be upset and no good will come of it. On the other hand, if he is given a good reputation, for example by someone saying to everyone: “So-and-so is extraordinarily punctual, he is always on time”, it might be wrong at first, but that person will make an effort – and this works. I have tested it personally more than once. In the past, I always thought badly of people, thought I was “top of the pile”, to be able to criticise what everyone else did. I realised that this was mean.
Use the following rules that will enable you to better understand people you speak to and so communicate better. Some of the following points will help you to radically transform the tense contacts that you could have with other people.
· Perception of things
To communicate in an effective way, you must understand that every person perceives the world in a different way. The first rule: always keep in mind that the “Map of the World” of the person you are speaking to may not be the same as yours. By following this guiding principle, you will approach the relationship with a spirit of openness, to keep benevolent neutrality. Consequently communication has every chance of being profitable, because it is built on respectful and tolerant exchange.
· Really take an interest in others
Generally, the people who succeed and are happy take an interest in other people. When someone speaks to you about themselves, their family, their health, their troubles, avoid appearing as disinterested or bored. Don’t start talking about yourself, or else you show a lack of respect and interest in the other person. To behave this way towards other people damages success, and also creates important situations that at first seem trivial.
Learn how to listen to others. Most people need to tell their story to feel happy. Based on this principle, if you want to be appreciated by someone you are talking to, you will have to listen to him or her much more than talk to him or her.
Be sociable: speak to others about what interest them, encourage the others to speak about themselves, make them feel important – and do it sincerely. Surely you know that people who speak easily to everybody, they always have something to say to the bus driver, taxi driver, to the girl in the bakery, the dog or cat in the restaurant, the café owner, the tour guide, a teacher or lecturer. Some say that people like this are devious. Not at all. These people have a very well developed social sense and this helps them to automatically be in tune with the people they speak to, whatever the situation.
The great psychologist Adler said: “The individual who is not interested in his fellow man is the person who will meet the greatest difficulties in life and harms other most.”
Also, when you meet a person who is too tired to give you a smile, smile at them yourself. Because no one needs a smile more than someone has nothing more to give.
In addition, the name of a person is very important. Getting it wrong is the best way to make an enemy of someone. To remember it is the best way of making a friend. Communicating well means being honestly interested in others and putting yourself in their shoes and not to see things only from your own viewpoint.
· Be "listening"
I want to emphasise this point: the art of communication comes from listening.
Listening to others is a service that you can perform for them. Nowadays, no one really listens any more, and if you give your time and listen to people you are speaking to or to those you love, you are giving them one of the most beautiful gifts there is.
Try it, and you will realise that people are very sensitive to this and will return your kindness one hundredfold!
Moreover, the fact that you listen, you are receptive and open enables you to better understand other people, to be on the same wavelength as them, and this will be true even if you disagree. Don’t attack them because they don’t share your views. Accept the opinions of others and remain open. You have the absolute right to have your own opinions, but that doesn’t mean that you have the truth. Remember that each one of us has our own truth…. Or rather our own interpretation of the truth. Yours is no better than your neighbour’s. So respect the opinions or “truths” of others.
· Don’t criticise
Here’s a golden rule that you should never break, under pain of “scuttling” communication! Understand that 99 percent of people judge themselves innocent whatever their faults. So it is useless to judge and criticise others on their actions. Communicating well implies not criticising, condemning or complaining.
Today we live in the communication age. However, paradoxically, human relationships have never been so cold. Relationships have become “remote”, because of the use of tools that depersonalise communication: the phone, fax, email and other electronic communications.
The majority of people don’t know how to communicate: they burp, grumble, insult, they spit out their words and phrases without any respect for the person they are addressing. This can’t be called communication, but rather an “exchange of aggression”.
Rather than be concerned with what enters our mouths, we should watch more carefully what leaves them.
IMPORTANT:
Be conscious that every word releases a particular energy, depending on what you think when you say it. What is important is not the word, but the “thought energy” that accompanies it. Different people can speak the same word, but each could have a different effect.
You must become aware of your thoughts and what you feel when you speak, in order not to thrust anything onto the person you speak to. Very often, people are not clear in their communication, because there is too great a gap between what they say and what they think, leading to all sorts of misunderstandings.
So it is important that you are conscious of every word that you say, and to do that, you must speak slowly.
Only people with a low level of consciousness allow themselves to always be critical and judgmental. If you don’t like something, say simply and calmly, “I don’t like that or that is not appropriate for me” or “that doesn’t interest me”.
But don’t say: “It’s lousy or it’s false”, because everything has its place in the universe, or else it would not exist. It’s not up to you to say whether something is fair or not; don’t think you are something you’re not, namely an omnipotent God!
I’m sure you will already have noticed this: when you are full of compassion, respect, tolerance, you do not feel like criticising or demolishing the person who disagrees with you, nor focus on this opinion or that ideology. Understand that you are not here for that, but simply determine what is right for you, for your development, and the rest is not pointless, but is just not appropriate to you.
One more thing: when you communicate, try to drop the trivia as much as possible. Remain quiet rather than say just anything. Silent communication is certainly a difficult art, but it is very powerful.
A lot of energy can pass in silence. So, you can pass on all the love you have: you can express your inner peace much more easily; you can concentrate on enlightening thoughts that will offer to others.
It isn’t by chance that spiritual masters often communicate in silence, because silence is much more powerful than words. In silence, energy is passed in a pure state without the mental state of the person you are communicating with being able to interpret what you say. Silence is more than mental.
For example, when two people are in the same energy and they have a radiant love for each other, their communication becomes almost telepathic. Telepathy is a form of spiritual communication by which two people feel the same energy; they are both immersed in an unconditional love. Beyond words, the magic of love transports themselves on the wings of communion.
Communication is an exchange and not a battle, so renounce criticism and rumour mongering from your discussions. Believe me, you will only gain advantages from the conversations; you will avoid controversy or conflict… which is the best way of coming out of them successfully.
Conversely, if in the heat of conversation the person you are speaking to criticise you, don’t react immediately by taking it personally. Even if this criticism of you has a certain basis in fact, don’t take it as a personal attack.
What’s happening in fact?
Most of the time, the person you are talking to is confronted with his own feelings, beliefs and opinions. He tries to send “emotional poison” in order to unsettle you, but actually he does nothing more than consciously projects onto you his own resentment.
If you take it personally, you feel offended and your reaction will be to defend your opinions, which is likely to cause conflict. Don’t try to show that you are right, by imposing your views and by finding fault in others. Instead show flexibility, skill or compassion; turn the conversation to another subject, change the argument, etc… in short, show you are better than the other person and control the communication.
Here’s a fable that teaches an important principle in communication: it pays to give compliments.
After a long day’s work, a farmer put in front of his farm workers a large pile of hay, as a supper. The men asked him angrily if he had lost his mind, and he answered:
"How could I know that you’d spot the difference? I’ve fed you for twenty years. And in all that time, you’ve only ever said to me once that you don’t eat hay!"
Communicating well implies complimenting people honestly and sincerely. In general, it is much less painful to hear negative remarks after a compliment on our qualities or those of the person you are speaking to.
· Be attentive
Developing your faculty for listening means being receptive and keeping an open kind. Life presents each of us with many lessons that will be of no use if we are not broadminded.
In addition, being attentive supposes that you know how to profit from messages that reach you from people you are speaking to, verbally or through other means. Indeed, you can be very receptive to what someone says to you, without at the same time being able to “decode” the information (verbal, visual, smells, sounds, kinaesthetic…) delivered during the conversation. To carefully analyse information that people send out, it is necessary to be attentive!
Perhaps you know the story of the very pious man who had an unlimited confidence in God. He spent every day in prayer and he was certain that, if something unwelcome happened to him, the Lord would help him.
One day, it started to rain. This man’s village was flooded, and everyone rushed for get under cover. Neighbours passed very close to his home in their cars and urged him to go with them.
- The Lord will save me, he answered.
The rain continued to fall, and the water level rose so high that the man went up to the first floor of his house. A boat passed by his home, and the occupants urged him to get on broad. But again he answered:
- No, thank you. The Lord will save me.
The floodwaters kept rising, and the man had to take shelter on the roof of his house to take shelter. A helicopter flew over and the pilot yelled:
- I’ll throw down a rope and I’ll pull you up inside.
- That’s very nice of you, the pious man said to the pilot, but the Lord is ready to help me. God will do what He needs to do to save me.
In a few minutes, the water level passed the top of the houses, and the man was washed away and drowned. He arrived in heaven and when God, who was meeting the newcomers, saw him, he was very surprised.
- What are you doing here? Your time hasn’t come yet.
Then the man said to God:
- I believed in you, I believed that you would come to save me. I waited and you didn’t come. What happened?
And God replied:
- I sent you a car, a boat and even a helicopter. What more do you want?
The moral of the story is that you have to pay attention to messages that you receive and don’t force them to give you the signals that you are waiting for.
You should know that communication doesn’t solve everything: it’s understanding the messages that enrich our relationships with others, and a lack of understanding poisons them.
For example: how many times after you have argued with someone dear to you have you found that the disagreement came from a simple misunderstanding? The better we know each other, the more we grow to understand each other. However, it’s not unusual to misunderstand the intentions or words of others.
Most tension and poor communication comes from misunderstanding. To avoid them, it is right that you make an effort to communicate, but your efforts will only be really effective if you aim to create understanding.
This understanding happens on several levels:
- Understanding yourself and others better.
- Understanding that men and women react differently to stress.
- Understanding the emotions or feelings underlay the reactions of others.
- Accepting that appearances can be misleading (for example: when someone shrugs their shoulders at you, this might not have the same meaning for them as it does for you).
- Accepting that what might be simple for you to say might be different for others.
- Accepting that certain words that might seem comforting could actually be hurtful for the other person.
- Accepting that what is good for you is not certain to be good for others.
Not forgetting that through their World View, others speak a “different language”, even if it sounds a bit like yours.
· Other people are a mirror for yourself
Please think about this fundamental truth:
If you like or you hate something in someone else, then you like or hate it in yourself.
This is the conclusion of several teams of social science experts (psychologists, sociologists, neurologists, philosophers….) during experiments bringing together many social and economic classes, from tests carried out over several years.
You get a first impression when you meet someone for the first time. You decide in an instant whether you like the person or not. You decide through tiny details, such as their perfume or the colour of their eyes, or by recollections from your own unconscious memories.
In fact, the reactions that we have to other people are a barometer for the way that we see ourselves. They say much more about us than the other person. If we like or hate something in the other person, it’s because we like or hate it in ourselves.
People are spontaneously attracted to people who are like themselves and instinctively reject people who are different. We judge others through our own experiences, our feelings and our beliefs. Despite that, we are convinced that we are perfectly objective, because we usually remain fixed to our own World View.
However, try to imagine that people who you meet will, like a mirror, give you back very important information. If you accept this principle, every new meeting will give you the opportunity to understand yourself better and develop your knowledge.
Suppose for a moment that qualities that you admire in others – their energy, their talents – are in fact the characteristics that you want in yourself. Doesn’t this illuminate your idea of your own worth?
In the same way, you can think of people you don’t like as “gifts”, because they highlight the things that you don’t like in yourself. Every time that you are annoyed, hurt or irritated by someone else, think that you have the chance to pay them back for a forgotten episode of anger, sorrow or irritation.
Being able to distinguish weaknesses in others allows you the compassion to put your arm round them, and perhaps gives you the opportunity to soften your damning judgement of yourself too. If you do this, it also becomes possible to consider people who approach you as mirrors on yourself, whether they are people you like or people you don’t like.
In this way, you will be able to discern your own qualities, but also the aspects of your own personality that you don’t like. The point of this rule is to move from judging to exploring your own personality. To do this, you need to be able to evaluate all the decisions, judgements and projections that you make about others, and look at these things as revealing clues to allow you to “cure” your own weaknesses and to gain your own integrity.
Absorbing the lessons learnt from following this rule, you will develop more tolerance, open-mindedness, compassion, the ability to listen, and you will take a decisive step towards very profitable communication.
· The magic of a good impression
You are digging. If the spade is put in properly, you will remove a good shovelful. You are swimming. It’s the push off the wall that propels you down the pool. You are writing. The quality of your story depends on the first paragraph.
A good first impression has always helped the people who knew how to make the most of it.
When we meet people for the first time, it is our clothes rather than our personality that makes the strongest impression. What we wear makes a good or bad impression, and illustrates our character and social position.
The right clothes mean Strength, Power. You must make a good impression on the world if you want to make a success of your social relationships…. And to even create miracles. It’s a fact that the world judges you according to the clothes that you wear and treats you accordingly.
Presenting yourself badly attracts a feeling of mistrust from others; a poor appearance does not just indicate a lack of care, but even a depressed and morbid state of mind. Learn how to impress people you meet by your immaculate appearance.
That’s life: those who have will be given more – so “pretend” to have things. Act as if you are a success, have great self-assurance and self-confidence. Beautiful new clothes have a “magical” effect on the way we carry ourselves, and give their wearer the feeling of success and self-esteem.
Look at nature: the peacock does not spread its tail to disturb its neighbours and the lion does not bristle its mane out of animosity – these are nature’s ways of expressing their majesty, to make a good impression.
If you want to attract influential, benevolent and protective relationships, if you want to rely on the support of people around you, then you need to appear to be a success before you actually are one. For example, you can wear things that suggest wealth or luxury: gold, silk, etc. Also take care of your appearance, your skin, your hands (hands tell us a lot about someone), and your hairstyle….
Always keep in mind that the impression that you make on others is very important: your luck depends mainly on what others think of you.
· The tricks that make communication easier
Recognise faults: Everyone can deny that they are wrong. Only great people are capable of admitting that they are wrong. Communicating well means admitting your faults, promptly and sincerely.
Speak vigorously: Taking the eyes and seizing the imagination of others means you have more chance to convince them.
Speak indirectly: If you have to point out errors or faults in others, it’s best to do it in an indirect way so that you don’t hurt their feelings. It is also good to mention your own mistakes before those of others… you must always give others the chance to save face.
The theory of three Yes’s: There’s a theory, proved many times, that if you manage to get someone you are speaking to, to say “yes” twice, the third time they will always say “yes”. So to get someone to admit something, it’s useful to ask two easier questions that the other person must answer “yes” and then ask the third question that is so important to you.
In a similar way: to get your ideas accepted, it is sometimes useful to make the other person believe that the idea came from them …
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